Undergoing assessments, needing support

hi, I’m new to the community. I have a son who is 4 and undergoing assessments.

we had the paediatrician yesterday and since I’ve been feeling at a loss. So many questions and feelings going round in my mind. 

We’ve already had an assessment with speech and language who have offered no help, he’s had the social skills assessment last year where he scored mild - moderate and he’s had ongoing play therapy since last year. The last few months things have got worse - anxiety and ocd traits have got so much worse even though the paediatrician says they can’t diagnose either as he’s too young yet it so clearly is - play therapist and nursery think so. His anxiety attacks are getting worse to the point he’s having palpitations and can’t breath or talk and the trauma from this then leads to a melt down and is inconsolable and takes hours to calm again. It is change of routine that majority cause the anxiety/meltdowns, or if he isn’t wanting to leave me (for nursery). Certain things he was ok at last year have got worse too - his speech is ok with people who he’s comfortable with and can have decent conversation but to people he isn’t so comfortable with it’s like he reverts back to baby - choice a baby voice and very unclear. Another thing that’s got worse is his drawing - paediatrician said it’s very immature but a year ago he could hold a pencil proper/draw properly and was starting to learn how to spell his name but now he holds his pencil like a toddler would. This does corncern me a lot.

next steps is the paediatrician is referring us for bloods and a genetic test? She also said she was concerned at the fact some changes in his behaviour have happened so suddenly - last year he went from being a typical happy boy to not even want to play with any his toys. She never said too much as my son was really anxious and listening to what was getting said. And also getting referred for an ADOS assessment which is a 6 month waiting list in our area. Other than that not much else what said and no other support was offered, she doesn’t want to see us again until September. His nursery isn’t happy as they were hoping more support would be offered as he isn’t toilet training and starts school after summer.

im feeling pretty low at the minute and I can’t help but blame myself for all this, I feel like I must’ve done something wrong. To top it off, at nursery party invitations got handed out by one of my sons friends and he wasn’t invited. It hurts that he gets excluded, he asked me what was getting handed out and I never had the heart to tell him. He takes everything so personally and I knew he would be upset. 

Im sorry if I’ve posted in the wrong thread, I just needed to unload everything that’s been going on in my mind today/yesterday.