Dealing with Diagnosis

This week I finally went for assessment and the results are in. It's a yes.

I thought I'd be happy about it but now I'm not so sure. It's really positive that I finally make sense and at 27 that's a huge relief. It also really sucks to have somebody else tell you how inept you are at life and to have to explain the job losses, uni drop outs, relationship breakdowns and all the other negatives that inevitably come from nearly three decades of undiagnosed ASD. I thought I'd scrape through and be told something along the lines of 'mild difficulties,' but to hear 'obviously autistic' was not what I expected at all.

I'm wondering how everybody else reacted to diagnosis? Was it what you expected, and did you do anything to help you process the result? Thank you in advance.

Parents
  • My response echoes Blueray and Starbuck. Im in my 50’s and was diagnosed just over a year ago. So I felt the same as you but with another 20 years of misunderstandings on top of that. My expectations and family reactions are the same as mentioned.. I hoped it would help but it’s ignored. I do internally feel at last I have reasons for the way I am and that is good but there is a lot of confusion, anger, sadness etc etc of the what if’s which isn’t really helpful. It does take time to adjust and others on old posts have mentioned 1,2 or more years to find their way after diagnosis. I agree that more post diagnosis support would be helpful ( I didn’t have any). I do find myself saying to myself now “ ah *** that’s why ***” is the case for me or give myself some slack and space to recover from things and I’m learning about what sort of things I need that for ( sometimes get cross with myself for needing it though). I have a number of health issues and burnout more frequently the older I get so I have to try hard not to compare myself to others or to the dream I had of what I would have by now and don’t. The difference I suppose is the peace the affirmation brings between the “why ?” Stage and “now I know “ stage but then you have to realign yourself in your world with the new knowledge and the fact that it’s never going to go away but that others have found ways to make their lives work for them and others have found peace and happiness so there has to be chance of that for us too. 

Reply
  • My response echoes Blueray and Starbuck. Im in my 50’s and was diagnosed just over a year ago. So I felt the same as you but with another 20 years of misunderstandings on top of that. My expectations and family reactions are the same as mentioned.. I hoped it would help but it’s ignored. I do internally feel at last I have reasons for the way I am and that is good but there is a lot of confusion, anger, sadness etc etc of the what if’s which isn’t really helpful. It does take time to adjust and others on old posts have mentioned 1,2 or more years to find their way after diagnosis. I agree that more post diagnosis support would be helpful ( I didn’t have any). I do find myself saying to myself now “ ah *** that’s why ***” is the case for me or give myself some slack and space to recover from things and I’m learning about what sort of things I need that for ( sometimes get cross with myself for needing it though). I have a number of health issues and burnout more frequently the older I get so I have to try hard not to compare myself to others or to the dream I had of what I would have by now and don’t. The difference I suppose is the peace the affirmation brings between the “why ?” Stage and “now I know “ stage but then you have to realign yourself in your world with the new knowledge and the fact that it’s never going to go away but that others have found ways to make their lives work for them and others have found peace and happiness so there has to be chance of that for us too. 

Children
  • I agree, I think there has to be a chance for us too :). It does sound like time and support might be the answer, the whole 'it's never going to go away thing' can be a bit overwhelming and I keep having to remind myself that I've always been like this so the diagnosis doesn't actually change anything! The comment you made about comparisons is really good advice, I will have to write that down somewhere!