my son is nearly 4 been officially diognosed with asd just recently but for the past 2 years we knew it was heading in that direction. One thing we are really struggling with is hair cuts , we have tried everything and he just screams and gets so distressed and worked up, the same with toe nail cutting, it really stresses me and my husband out when the time comes but there is just no reasoning with our son he just does not understand,
many help or advice would be greatly appreciated
Deepthought is right in that hair cutting can be painful in that it is the pulling the scalp that is unbearable.
My mum has been through the same things you are going through now, where I would scream and have tantrums when having my hair brushed, washed and cut.
I also went through a period in my teens where I cut all my hair off as my hair irritated me, but I hated going to the hairdressers regularly to maintain it. What resulted was years of not having my hair maintained or cut. Luckily things have got better like Deepthought, but I still hate people touching my hair unless I am prepared for having it cut and I only trust one person to do this.
My advice would be to keep hair as easy to maintain as possible and like Deepthought suggested - a really close cut with clippers may be a solution.
I also found being prepared to have my haircut helped and keeping it to short periods, so you may have to accept that the hair cut will not be finished in one sitting.
Things will get easier with time, but you will need to work on how your son is feeling as well.