Every time I go out and do something, like shopping, browsing or take the kids out I am absolutely shattered after and fall asleep no matter how hard I try to stay awake. It really is quite annoying and I feel so silly having to go and lay down in the middle of the day
At the weekend my husband suggested taking the kids (5 of them) to Smyth's toy store, just to get out of the house and do something the children would enjoy. It was packed full of people! There was music on the speakers, sounds from all the toys and hundreds of voices all at the same time. Everybody was brushing into me and the kids were going mental, wanting to try every scooter they could find. I HATED IT! When we got back I fell asleep for a couple of hours!
Yesterday and today I have spent my mornings taking photos of Pre School kids and last week I did another Pre School. I have hundreds of photos to edit so they can order before Christmas but I am SO tired ZZzZZzzzzzzzz.. It's SO hard!How do you deal with fatigue and work?
Hi @Blueray good idea to have got some blood tests done, I had a low vitamin D count last winter and taking the vitamin D made such a huge difference - just gave me that bit of a boost to give me the energy I needed to try getting my act together a bit, as although I knew what I had to try and do I didn't feel that I had the energy to do any of it. Sounds like you are probably making more progress than you realise. Going to get the blood tests done is something in itself, I have lost count how many blood test forms I have found crumpled in the bottom of my bag that I've forgotten about lol! hang in there!
BlueRay said:I feel like I've wasted so much of my life and now I know what the problem is, I just want to get on with it but can't.
@Blueray oh! I can so relate to this! now I finally have those missing puzzle pieces I just want to get on and sort everything out NOW :-D and yes, I agree small steps are hard because we just want to get on with it but even a marathon is made up of lots and lots of little steps! as soon as I accepted that and started to break things down into smaller more achievable goals I found I started to make more progress. Wow! being a Social Worker sounds like a tough job! I am not sure I would want to go back to that sort of thing either. Thank you too, reading your perspective on things has helped me too.
Thanks Queenie, and I had to really take charge when I went to the doctors. It was a young doctor, he was new and he was trying his best but it was like he was reading from a text book. He said we only have 10 minutes and spent most of them going on about stuff that wasn't relevant to me and if he had asked me any questions, he would have known. I said look, I'm autistic, I've tried the help you're talking about but it didn't work because we didn't know I was autistic, now we do and I know what I want, I want you to check my vitamin D levels and my iron and give me some sleeping tablets. He did what I asked then, saying he can only give me 7 sleeping tablets, they're not a long term option. I said if you read my notes or listen to me, you would know that I have them every now and again, I take them for 2 or 3 nights, to help establish my sleeping pattern and then I don't need them. I'm not even ready to take them yet but I wanted to have them just in case I need them. I'm not gonna be content with spinning my wheels when I know they work when I get to the point where I need them pr I'm ready for them. They would be a bit of a waste just now as I haven't got the energy I need but as I build my strength up and I'm ready to establish a firm sleeping pattern and I'm struggling, I'll take them, I know what I'm doing. You're right, I am making more progress than I realise I just get frustrated that I can't do what I want to do but even if I only make it to the gym once, it's once more than I have in the past 12 months.
I've also started back at the sauna. I used to go before on mixed nights, which is really men's night and me! I like it because men are less offended than women although I've upset a couple of the men there. This time I've gone back and it feels a bit weird and even though I'm only sat in a sauna, it tires me out but again, if I make it once a week, it's a good thing. I'm just not used to such slow progress.
Yes, yes and yes ~ it's good to know someone else is in the same boat! You're right, thanks for the reminder, even a marathon is made up of lots of little steps! When I went in the job centre, I only spoke to the guy for about 15 minutes max and he said the same thing to me, he said I have a personality that pushes herself but he said I need to take my time and that I would find my place. It seems I need constant reminders of this. It's like when I feel 'normal', i.e. not totally exhausted and wanting to hide away, I think I can do anything and I quickly find I can't, then I get down on myself, so all these reminders are really good for me. No, I don't want to go back to social work, it's not the clients, I can deal with that, its just the whole work place thing and the colleagues and the bosses, the whole set up. In the last job I had I wrote to the director of services because there was so much that could be done, but no one really wanted to do anything. I realised tonight that if the world were more spiritually evolved, I'd rock this gig, but it isn't, so I've got to find a way of being in this world that suits me and that's what I want to hold out for. I'll do whatever it takes and I know I'll make it, I just get stuck on worrying about how long it's going to take, I really don't want to waste any more of my life but I guess that if I just fall back into taking work just for the money, I won't get there. I feel passionate that we deserve to live full and fulfilling lives, just like everybody else, but it's going to look different and I so don't want to sell myself out, not that I think I could anyway even if I wanted to, but I get tempted. This conversation has really helped. Thank you.