I have recently been thinking about my social interaction with people and other than the people I work with, I only have my partner for social interaction.
Up to a point I am fine with this and still seek being on my own away from my partner, which he understands and is happy to accommodate. However, I have been wondering if this is a completely healthy way of going about life. I'm not lonely and if anything find I will do anything to find isolation following work, as I am normally feel overwhelmed at the end of a shift.
What I am debating in my head is whether I am in a bit of a rut and have accepted this isolation and therefore it doesn't affect me? At the moment, I am happy being with just my partner and looking after my animals. My partner has been a little concerned in the past, but I think like me has accepted that this is the way I am and shouldn't force social interactions on me. I hear from others though that social interaction makes us happy and stops us feeling isolated and depressed. If I didn't have my partner and animals, then I may be able to relate to this better.
I find friendships hard work and difficult to keep. One side of me said I will be putting unnecessary stress on myself by trying to find new friends (especially with similar interests to me!), the other side of me is thinking about the fact that I have become to reliant on my partner and animals for social stimulus and should instead step outside of my comfort zone.
Has anyone else had this debate and come to some sort of logical conclusion of what is best or has experienced the outcome for themselves? Fr
Apart from animals what are your interests? It sounds like they may be less common ones? I'm like both of you.. I would be content with a partner and animals especially if my Social energy was used up at work. Over the years I have had many jobs and tried doing classes ( I have kept 1 friend from those) or tried out Social / religious groups with occasional success but mainly not. Sometimes I do make friends but keeping them is another matter entirely though have kept a handful. I even started 2 groups to suit me but one kept going without me as I couldn't cope and the other changed direction to suit the others and I couldn't cope so they were a success but I wasn't. It is possible to find friends from interest groups but sounds like you have a full life already. Do you think you put too much pressure on your partner as the only social interaction you have? Do you think your hobbies are so outlandish no one else would enjoy them? I wonder why you are questioning yourself about this.. do you think you need to mix more? Only you know how much of yourself you could give to further social interactions outside work. Let us know what you decide.
Some good questions. I wouldn't say my interests are outlandish, rather more solitary. So for example, I like gaming, but hate online gaming where I have to interact with others. I also like researching renewable technologies and I have a keen interest in certain types of food and nutrition. I have joined some foodies groups previously, but found them overwhelming and almost like to had to fit in with the clique. My hobbies have reduced a lot to what they used to be, but even then they have always been solitary. So when I used to go out cycling, I preferred to be alone as cycling with others stressed me out as I couldn't predict their pace and how they would ride, same for when I am out riding my motorbike as well.
I have probably answered my own question above. When I have made my hobbies and interests more social, it ruins it for me and causes me stress.
I do think I put too much pressure on my partner, although he never complains. He gets frustrated with how hard it is to get me to go out and do things, which I feel for him and try to make an effort. It's just he is more spontaneous than me so is learning last minute plans are not good as well as springing things up on me. I insist he does his own thing, so I don't impact on his social life as well, but I do wonder if I hold him back.