Friends and social life

I have recently been thinking about my social interaction with people and other than the people I work with, I only have my partner for social interaction.

Up to a point I am fine with this and still seek being on my own away from my partner, which he understands and is happy to accommodate.  However, I have been wondering if this is a completely healthy way of going about life.  I'm not lonely and if anything find I will do anything to find isolation following work, as I am normally feel overwhelmed at the end of a shift.

What I am debating in my head is whether I am in a bit of a rut and have accepted this isolation and therefore it doesn't affect me?  At the moment, I am happy being with just my partner and looking after my animals.  My partner has been a little concerned in the past, but I think like me has accepted that this is the way I am and shouldn't force social interactions on me.  I hear from others though that social interaction makes us happy and stops us feeling isolated and depressed.  If I didn't have my partner and animals, then I may be able to relate to this better.  

I find friendships hard work and difficult to keep.  One side of me said I will be putting unnecessary stress on myself by trying to find new friends (especially with similar interests to me!), the other side of me is thinking about the fact that I have become to reliant on my partner and animals for social stimulus and should instead step outside of my comfort zone.

Has anyone else had this debate and come to some sort of logical conclusion of what is best or has experienced the outcome for themselves?  Fr

Parents
  • Hello Starbuck.  I have had this debate in the past.  Like you, though, I've always found it hard to make friends and to keep them.  I'm a friendly person, as most people who know me will probably confirm.  I like people.  But I feel better when they're not around.  People seem perplexed when I tell them that I like nothing better than to spend the whole weekend alone.  I'm the same with relationships.  I've tried them several times in the past, but they've always come to grief.  I think a lot of it is to do with me being very possessive of my time.  I have interests that even work interferes with.  During the evenings and weekends, these take up my time.  I don't like them being disturbed, so time away from them is time that, for me, seems wasted.  Throughout my life, other people have either been indifferent to me at best and hostile at worst.  So not having them in my life very much doesn't bother me unduly.

Reply
  • Hello Starbuck.  I have had this debate in the past.  Like you, though, I've always found it hard to make friends and to keep them.  I'm a friendly person, as most people who know me will probably confirm.  I like people.  But I feel better when they're not around.  People seem perplexed when I tell them that I like nothing better than to spend the whole weekend alone.  I'm the same with relationships.  I've tried them several times in the past, but they've always come to grief.  I think a lot of it is to do with me being very possessive of my time.  I have interests that even work interferes with.  During the evenings and weekends, these take up my time.  I don't like them being disturbed, so time away from them is time that, for me, seems wasted.  Throughout my life, other people have either been indifferent to me at best and hostile at worst.  So not having them in my life very much doesn't bother me unduly.

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