38 years old and recently diagnosed aspergers

Hello, I'm 38 years old and was recently diagnosed with aspergers. I have seen the report from the psychiatrist that did the assessment. I'm unsure if I explained myself correctly because some of the report looks accurate, but some of it makes me seem more capable of than I am. For example it states I can manage daily living tasks if im not feeling depressed and that I like my belongings kept in there designated place and would be upset if they were moved. Plus routines would likely help me if they can be achieved. What is missing is the fact that I'm depressed or stressed most days and dont wash clean change clothes daily. Also I like my belongings kept in a certain order, but this is rarely achieved. ive moved house twice in 6 months and everything I own has been thrown all over the house. It's really messy to be honest. 

 

Liking a routine is questionable because I don't do much and dont know if I'd ever cope with a routine someone else set for me. I'm really isolated and have been for most of my life. I went to school until i was 14 but never had friends at school. When I was 6 years old I tried everything to avoid school. I want to know if I have PDA. Before reading about autism and requesting an assessment, I self diagnosed myself with avoidance personality disorder (or similar). I've always fought not to do things. Even when I want to do them. I would argue with my mum every time she asked me to get dressed, brush teeth, go to school. I've booked holidays but on the day made excuses and not gone. Ive suffered with 9 months of tooth pain because going to a dentist filled me with anxiety. I was hit by a car a 2 years ago and refused to get in the ambulance. That resulted in a huge blood clot, 4 months in bed, and ongoing pain. I'm also unsure if I'm going blind in my left eye. I had operations for squint aged 5 and this caused my a lot of trauma. Being highly eye contact avoidant makes the thought of going to an optician unbearable. 

I've applied for jobs but I've either not arrived to interview, or if I've gone, somehow been offered the job, I  haven't kept them long enough to make friends. I have one friend but don't meet him often (unless he's making phone calls or taking me to a meeting)

I hate waking up in the dark and feel tired a lot because something (usually noise) wakes me up 4 times a night. For a lot of years Ive woken up whenever I feel rested enough to wake up, followed that by watching repeats of porridge and only fools and horses, and then I have a go on a computer game, and sometimes look on the Internet. If I need to do more than that I have a meltdown or shutdown. I run out of meetings with (CAB advisors)to avoid screaming and shouting like a 2 year old would. Professionals such as those at the dwp don't like me ringing them because I lose my temper or tell them their job. I don't recognise they are professionals. In 2 months I've got to go to court to appeal their decision not to award me PIP. I'm not looking forward to that day. I hope I manage to attend and hope they don't stress me to the point I say or do something wrong. Getting to the court will be a big problem itself. I don't travel well. I get confused disorientated and lost. I've used one bus in the last 10 years and it goes from outside my house to outside my parents house. Even taking that 20 minute journey is stressful. I fear trying to go somewhere I don't know. Its the fault of the dwp that i've got to go to an place I don't know. They could have assessed me on paper or in my home, but because I told them I was on the verge of a shutdown and didn't care if they took my benefits and made me homeless, they made up a story about me not attending an assessment. I told the court that I didn't receive any letters or phone calls about an assessment so I can only wait to find out what happens now. 

If anyone can tell me what I could do to get some help to do more than watch TV alone all day, please do. Also I'm supposed to meet my assesor again in a month. Does anyone know why?? 

Thank you for any help or advice you can give me. 

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