My first post (changes in life how do people cope)

Hi :) Hope everybody is well. I've had asperger's well diagnosed about 22 years ago (35 now)

Now there's been a change in my home circumstances (still live with my folks) but that's about to change. How did people.............handle it? (if they had these sort of things going on in their life) I know...............I have been struggling to be honest (Not going to deny that) especially with all the delay's i've had with this (had pretty bad thoughts I won't go into) I got a call the other day though saying that something had finally been found (looks like I have accepted) but now that's going to likely cause other anxiety's in me you know dealing with the rent erm...........money side of the situation and obviously how to look after myself (I have been promised support though but not sure as to what extent it will be at the moment)

Hope this sounds all OK...................?

Parents
  • Hello welcome aboard,I am no expert in this area but I like to think if the support is there for you then things will fall into place, it may take a while and there will be periods of time when anxiety builds up,will your parents be fairly local? Or at least at the end of a phone?

    Anything important like rent then start writing a to do list or get mum or dad to write it for you, when my daughter went to university my wife wrote everything down for her and did a budget and spending list,and she is neurotypical apart from dyslexia,she can read and write.

    It is a big thing for any child moving out of the home so you are not alone in feeling nervous. I assume the place they have found is suited to your needs?

    I am sure others better informed on here will give you specific advice better than me.

    I just wanted you to know you are experiencing what a lot of young adults go through,you have specific needs and challenges but don't be afraid to ask on here if anything isn't obvious.

    take care and keep us updated.

  • It's going to be a small 1 bedroom bungalow I believe (I have street view'd it) it looks more than ideal for me. I have had meetings with the people from the council erm the benefits.................maximiser I think (they told me that rent would be more or less nothing same with council tax I think) I'm not looking for anything big or huge just when certain um things happen (despite the asperger's) you feel it's time to look for your own place um..........of course I will continue to let people know (think it';s more the initial I get in erm get settled then it's trying to help me substain long term you know) I think i'm going to have teams coming in I do know it's not going to be one of these they going to give me the keys and that's it. I know I wouldn't cope with that

Reply
  • It's going to be a small 1 bedroom bungalow I believe (I have street view'd it) it looks more than ideal for me. I have had meetings with the people from the council erm the benefits.................maximiser I think (they told me that rent would be more or less nothing same with council tax I think) I'm not looking for anything big or huge just when certain um things happen (despite the asperger's) you feel it's time to look for your own place um..........of course I will continue to let people know (think it';s more the initial I get in erm get settled then it's trying to help me substain long term you know) I think i'm going to have teams coming in I do know it's not going to be one of these they going to give me the keys and that's it. I know I wouldn't cope with that

Children
  • Hi that sounds great,I am very happy for you,it will be a challenge but take one day at a time and try setting yourself some reminder notes, having. Routine even if it isn't a rigid one will help you know when to expect certain things like money coming in,how much and then get help deciding the order of importance for spending it, 

    Even setting a time to have breakfast and dinner,it helps to break the day into manageable parts, far to easy to just forget it's dinner time,it may not seem important but going without food will not be good for you.

    preparing something to eat means giving some thought as to what to buy,how long will it stay fresh, a good thing to learn about from maybe someone on the team,it needn't be a full roast dinner but just buying the right ingredients and preparing it can be very satisfying.and healthy too.

    please let us know how things are going.you should never feel afraid to ask even things that seem silly.everybody has to learn and we are here to help you.