Since When is a physio a doctor? When he's an ESA Assessor

I can manage it, yes.  But the more I was around the illness and people with it, the more of a 'problem' it became, the more I started to test the boundaries of it - and the more of a problem it became.  And you reach a stage where it starts to become more habitual.  I'm not an alcoholic.  I have a problem with alcohol, and that can lead to other places.  But, as with my current situation, I'm easy come-easy go with it.  I had a bit of a binge on Saturday, but it still wasn't a huge amount.  I don't need it to get through the day.  Mostly, now, I have a beer or two in the evenings while I'm relaxing with a movie.  That isn't alcoholic behaviour. 

I've heard about this kind of thing before, though.  People get told it's their problem, so it becomes their problem.  Even my GP was astonished when I told him I'd been referred to an alcohol unit.  He asked me what I drank.  I told him.  He laughed.  "I think I have more of a problem than you have, then," he said.  But it takes root in your head.  Suddenly, you're not having a relaxing beer - instead, you're feeling guilty for feeding your 'problem.'

Tom, have you been able to manage this now? Would like to talk to you more about this particular topic if you feel able to.

sorry for butting in....

I always drank normally up until around 40.  Sometimes I'd go for weeks with nothing.  Then I got sent for a mental health assessment at my CMHT.  Virtually the first question I got asked was 'Do you drink?'  I said 'Yes' because I did.  A can now and then.  An occasional bottle of wine.  Sometimes more if I was under stress.  But the psych straight away said that that was my problem and that I'd have to stop it before they would even consider any further treatment.  She sent me to an alcohol unit, where I was mixing with very serious alcoholics.  People who'd lost houses, jobs, families.  People who'd been in and out of rehab.  In short, I was as close to being like they were as someone with a bit of a chill is close to being like someone with pneumonia. 

But it became a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Once it was 'diagnosed' as my problem, it became my problem.  I was then advised to go to AA.  It just seemed crazy. But that's more or less how it happened for me.

I agree, maybe rather the way forward is to ask addicts why they become addicts I don't think it's a case of someone rather liking the taste of alcohol or food.Let's face it something perfectly legal  like food can be addictive to some people, tho I know it's meant as fuel for the body but what causes some to eat much more than they need?    I guess there's a whole range of things that can be addictive. At what stage does something stop being harmless and reaches the dependency /addiction stage. What I find is there's often some form of traumatic stress injury that turns people into addicts. I think this is where governments are going wrong, being an addict is not simply a case of being weak willed!!! 

Same here.  Addiction is a dreadful disease.  Sadly, though, society still regards it as a 'failing.'  No one is exempt, though, regardless of wealth or status.

@ Tom Agreed, I;m not a fan of Ant and Dec, as I find them purile, but I wouldn't wish Ant's addiction problems an anyone. I think I did mention about Princes William and Harry seeing as they've been in the news speaking about mental health problems recently, and with it being 20 years ago since Princess Diana's death. I don't think it matters if your mother was married to the next in line to the throne or if you've lived your life in a council estate,loosing a parent , and mental health issues can affect anyone, but I agree with you Tom it's the difference in attitudes, like there's empathy for Ant or William and Harry, but for an ESA claimant  It's "Get a job you lazy scrounger" .

Never been asked about my sex life at an ESA assessment, I'm sure even that's taboo!!! I think this assessment opened up a can of worms , and has made me think about the abusive sex that has happened. Tho I do think about the good  sexual relationship I did have , until I had a run of women's problems, that ruined that side of it. I know when I went for my assessment for Aspergers I went alone rather than taking my mum, as she doesn't know about my older cousin, and after the incidents   with the boysgot out,  I;d felt I;d get the blame, as I asked why I was being sent to a child psychologist her reply was"To see why you behave as you do" Maybe my mum didn't have the best way with words so I took it to mean "It must be my fault"
I know with the psychiatrist who did my initial ASD assessment I did touch on bullying at school and the abuse,but didn't feel or want to go into any great detail, also my immediate manager in my last job (last year) was a bully, great for an organisation that supports adults with learning disabilities and those with ASD conditions.     

I have that film and would say it's an accurate depiction of the way things are.  I've been through it myself.  The system is deliberately designed to 'fail' people.

The media recently made much of Ant McPartlin's addiction problems, and the fact that his doctor had signed him off from work.  Lucky old Ant, who'll rest at home with his millions in the bank until he feels ready to face work again.  Not so lucky the person in the minimum wage job, who then has to go through the stressful and demeaning process of applications, assessments, appeals, tribunals, sanctions.  Many people are made worse.  Many people give up.  Many people die.  Society has such a hypocritical attitude to things like this.  Ant McPartlin is wished well.  The addict on ESA is a sponger, bleeding the system dry, who needs to pull themselves together and take a stiff dose of cure-all work!

Didn't realise it was a performance sport! 

If an autistic person applied for the benefits is it expected that the person should have sex?
Do they ask this? Do they give less points then?

Yes the pip and ESA assessments and medicals do stir everything up within us because whilst trying to be positive on a daily basis you have to look at worst case scenario and it's not a pretty sight. As is happening to me just now. It makes you feel exposed and vulnerable. You are very brave to talk about the abuse and trust issues. I think you have spoken about something which is usually covered over. I do think there is a lot more confusion with sexual relationships ( in this community) just as with any relationships. How do you explain the effect that has as you grow up or problems and effects in later life to an official person who is a complete stranger ticking boxes just wanting to get to the next set of boxes and go home. 

I think there's a discount rate available  for parking to frequent visitors to hospitals, tho then again should be free or low cost, OK I can understand that hospitals want to dissuadethose who aren't patients or visitors from parking there, but surely there has to be a better way if you can show an appointment letter you park for free!!!  
I've not seen the film I Daniel Blake, but know the rough plot. I wonder if I would get more for less if I took out an Amazon or Netflix sub. I want to watch get DVDs for A Game Of Thrones. Tho I prefer to watch programmes on a big screen rather than on a computer, I've got M=Virgin Media package, tho not sure if I'm tied in still as renegotiated and got faster broadband for 50p less a month tho Virgin are putting their prices up by £3.50 a month in November, so do they have to honour my lower price or not. I stay with Virgin as they're pretty good, if I've had a fault with my service they send an engineer out the following day, or even the same day, and I can't be bothered with a change of e-mail address or phone number. I know when I've been looking for work potential employers have those details too, and if I do change for any reason there's usually someone I forget to tell!!!

No perhaps not, but I just thought mentiooning sexual problems might be, tho most women get gynae probs at some stage in their lives. It's just once I got over my fears I knew I could trust my veteran friend, and I know one day we were looking after his son's dogs , and he made a joke about tying me to the bannisters, and I know if he and I wanted to take it further I could trust him.  Whereas my ex boyfriend/fiance and then husband , If I wasn't keen on something I'd say "Lets talk about this" and he took it as a green light to proceed. 
After the incident with the gang of boys when I was 11, then an older cousin, I started work and met some predatory men, and then my ex. It was like fresh air when I did meet my veteran , and things got sexual with him. I realised that I was allowed to say no if I didn't want to go further, not that saying no often happened, as it was usually YES YES YES!!! 
I did find out that those on the autistic spectrum are more likely to suffer abuse than those not, for years I thought there was something wrong with me, but it wasn't me at fault, tho I did realise later on I'm not the only one to have been abused by different men on different occasions, and most unrelated to other incidents. I can only gather maybe I was looking for love, but seemed to get men after sex in the main, and somehow I seemed to get a reputation for being a "slapper" at work. It was only reading accounts by other women and reading about some of these grooming gangs in Rochdale, Rotheram , and other places, the most recent Newcastle, how these teenage girls were passed around gangs like pieces of meat!!! I'm thinking perhaps this DWP assessment and this Nwwcastle case has stirred feelings up , and I feel even more *** than I would normally, thanks DWP!!! An American friend commented on my Facebook that I was putting up more posts than usual about rape/grooming/abuse, and asked if I was OK. I replied on my page "Am I?" as I didn't seem to notice it was more than usual. Tho I did PM her and say you#re probably right, and said that this medical was making me feel *** too, I said that I scored 18/22 on an online PTSD questionnaire. I know that doesn't confirm a diagnosis, but might be worth speaking to a doctor about it.     

Have you seen the film I, Daniel Blake (it is available on Amazon Prime at the moment)

my step daughter is in a similar situation at the moment with her mum being in hospital for the past six weeks....issues of benefits being cut even though there are children (including a minor in the house)....all of that when you have enough on your plate to deal with,

my step daughter has now spent £300 on hospital car parking as well but has now hopefully found some who is trying to fight her corner,..

we're are back to bureaucratic rules and a lottery of support again.....but don't give up fighting...

I'm sure most council employees are decent enough folks, tho working re claims of housing or council tax benefit I couldn't do. I know a neighbour of working age  a number of years ago had heart problems and had his housing benefit stopped whilst he was in hospital, OK so he's in hospital, but he'll need a place to live when he came out. Anyway the housing association evicted him. The poor bloke was on his mobile phone in hospital trying to resolve the situation. Yep like he deliberately made himself ill. Anyway I think he ended up living at his brothers home, I don't know if he had a proper room or was sofa surfing. Surely it must cost more for councils if they have to put people up in emergency accommodation than it would to just pay housing benefit for those weeks!!!  

It is not a brazen post but a very honest one and I am pleased that you have found trait this community helps to facilitate that.  I am sorry to hear that you have been abused in the past....and hope you are able to enjoy a more positive past.

there are quite of lot of posts here that highlight just have vulnerable we can be and how easily we can be exploited by others when we just want to be accepted and loved....to feel less alone and isolated. 

I have a friend who used to work in housing benefit, council tax etc. He'd worked in call centres for years and his focus on customer service is second to none. Working for the council broke him because of the unfairness, the targets and the impossibility of it all. Some are rotten I'm sure but most feel they are pissing into the wind I think.

I do feel that I must apologise to any Christians on here, just I feel I've slated you all, but that's not how it was intended , just when I went to the initial assessment my friend knew the nurse, just they both went to the same church together at some stage. The nurse, who I believed to be a good Christian lied, as she said that I'm best assessed by a doctor, and when I did go back to see the doctor he was a physiotherapist!!! If she was knowingly setting me up with a physio then she lied!!!!  
At least the advisor at the jobcentre seemed pleasant enough, I think even she could see I'm not fit for work, and any interaction with her is on a voluntary basis.  I've got a very dear veteran friend going through similar, or no doubt he will be soon. I know he did tell me about his military service sometime after we'd started a relationship, as I was sure he was a veteran, I think by something he said and I think veterans seem to appear straighter than civvies when they walk, by that their posture isn't hunched or slouched. Anyway that's what started me collecting for the Royal British Legion. I know he was the first and possibly only one to notice that there was some  possible PTSD when the relationship first became sexual ,I know in my past , there's a history of abuse, rape and domestic violence. I know he picked up on it when the relationship first turned sexual. Just my rotten luck to get a run of women's problems, tho after seeing various gynaecologists , there was nothing wrong, not physically , tho I would get pain that wasn't normal for me, and seemed to have more than my fair share of thrush and water infections, some of the pain could be psychosomatic, or maybe I'd got this expectation it would hurt, I'd tense up so it did. I just wish the gynaecologists had thought of referring me to a psychosexual counsellor  back then , as I'm close to resolving it, I would say that this relationship is been brilliant. I know we're right for each other so does he, I just wish the physical side hadn't become so fraught at times. I know this is perhaps rather brazen a post, but I need to let off steam. Oh yes and my veteran friend has combat related PTSD, maybe it takes one to notice another. I've not been diagnosed, but on an online  PTSD questionnaire I ticked yes to 18/22  questions!!!
OH sorry this assessment has brought out much of the negative crap, even when I'm trying to progress, resolving issues with counselling , and also seeking voluntary work in a museum (in the hope of eventually  finding paid work in such a setting),  speak about putting the knife in, just that assessment has made me feel like poo, or possibly less than *** on your shoe.

I do wonder what the turnover rate for DWP assessors is, how long do they stay in their jobs, have some got a consience, have any been driven to the point of attempting or actually committing suicide, like so many of the people they assess have. I know they themselves don't make the decisions, but I believe many lie. The ironic thing is it must cost the government more in appeals than it does to continue paying the £30 odd quid a week.

I know this song sums up how I feel right now www.youtube.com/watch      

It's a good thing to offer. Thank you

I can quite understand that it would completely undermine any progress you might make, it's an aggressive and persecuting flawed system.  I do wish you luck, it feels crap that that is the best I have to offer.