ASSESSMENT FOR HENDROW, THE DAY LOOMS LARGE. . . . . . .

This was written some years ago, I believe, I still think it is an interesting read, considering all that has transpired since then.

Reasons to be fearful part 3

HENDROW CHRISTIE·WEDNESDAY, 26 JULY 2017

Please please please, try and understand that it is not that I want to die or anything like that, I am ‘not well’ you may hear me say. I am just ‘LAZY’ Like my dad used to say, I hate it I [*******] hate feeling like this, why am I wasting more time, more of my life, looking for answers, what if I had a diagnosis that explained everything that is, and that has happened to me, I am so lethargic, right now-oh sorry, most of the time! it is so very very depressing, I do not assume that it is easy for normal people, but it’s just that it seems impossible for me at the bad times.

I have looked for years on and off, for an answer to ‘what is wrong with me?’ I have been in church (religion of sorts) That hasn’t worked. Now; because this thing works in cycles I am kind of okay right now, but that is utter [‘********’] I am tired of trying to be normal (Physically) or right (Mentally). I feel a bit better right now just for writing this down, I do feel that although in my case there is a hell of a lot of evidence to back up my case, I have an overwhelming feeling that this will not be accepted, what am I signing up for? What would I be losing, what would I gain?

It is a living ‘[*******] Hell’ most days when I am not well. I have always looked at this back to front, the wrong way around, i.e. Thinking that I am depressed and that makes me lethargic and lifeless. My point is what if I am lethargic and lifeless and that in turn is a depressing state to be in? It would cause me to ask yet again, what the ‘[*******] hell’ is wrong with me. It does now make sense, or is this yet another attempt (Of Mine) to escape taking responsibility, if I had a debilitating disease then maybe people wouldn’t expect so much from me (Including Me! I have no energy left to do anything, I ‘[*******] Hate It’ God know I do.) So hopefully you can see that it is not that I want to die.

REASONS TO BE FEARFUL PART 2

I want to live I realise I want to live!

I have lost my flow so it’s time to go,

What I feel only I know,

Am I the fool from this brand,

Who expects others to understand,

I’ve lost so much over the years,

I have lost touch and cried many tears,

It does make me look at myself with hate,

I am nobody's friend, no one’s mate,

Will I find somebody that comprehends,

The cycles I ride, it’s recent trend’s,

Trapped in this body that just won’t work,

My life is shoddy, I feel like a jerk,

Makes me feel like I am a child,

Whose innocence was stolen, when I was defiled,

Oh God, oh I wish I could be a man,

It cannot be done, without a plan,

Yes, as usual, it is all about ME,

Could that Freudian slip, set me free?

Sometimes I am blind or totally deaf,

There are times when I have nothing left,

I am just too much, is what they cry,

Just leave me alone and pass on by.

[Edited by Ayshe Mod]

The pressure is mounting.

I was told on Friday by a locum GP that it could be at least three weeks before I get an assessment date.

19 Days to go then, not that I am counting or anything, lol.

Congratulations Hendrow!! It is also great to have you back on the forum!!  I have my first assessment appointment in March 2019!

And so it begins....... :) 

I have been officially diagnosed as having ASD from birth. (They are looking into ADHD, I have been on the waiting list since 2017.)

Thanks Robert, I will keep you all informed.

Being in the support group means you don't have to look for work.  Or be forced to attend regular meetings.

Copied From the government website.

Work-related support

Following your Work Capability Assessment you’ll be placed in either the work-related activity group or support group if you’re entitled to ESA.

Work-related activity group

You must go to regular interviews with an adviser who can help with things like job goals and improving your skills.

Support group

You don’t have to go to interviews, but you can ask to talk to a personal adviser. You’re usually in this group if your illness or disability severely limits what you can do.

I 'would' that it works out just as you desire. 

if you can check out the publishing thread a young Aspie wanting to put together a magazine x

ASAP...Austustic  Spectrum Assessment Pronto for me x

Well, "Oh How, I wish I knew your real name" now that my financial and mental well-being are being addressed. I should soon be able to focus on getting, My Aspergers Assessment completed (ASAP). It would also mean that I could the focus on my writing and drawing, My voice over and I also want to learn to play a song on an acoustic 6 stringed guitar. Not forgetting the most important things in my life. (My research and TWRH studies.) The jokes will continue, know that for sure. H. thanks for the comment

I don’t know but it is really really good to hear from you x

Does anyone know what it means when your EESA Medical is abandoned, because the Doctor (Assessor) Did not think I was able to comprehend the questions and that I cannot be made to work? As in his opinion, he thinks I cannot work and said as much to my support worker. 
She then said "I think you will be going into the 'support group' Whatever that is"? Bearing in mind that I was recently awarded, Enhanced PiP, (Not, Mobility though) at the same time my EESA payments enhanced and there increased. I heard that there is an additional 'Premium or Payment' if you will, that I might be entitled to, what is it, how and Why Please? Sorry about the two questions in one. If You know? Please let me know.
Regards, 
Hendrow.

Congratulations that you are happy and things are doing well.

I am on the infamous Universal Credit.  And it's fighting all the way.

This year:

Threats of eviction and fines because I'm behind in the rent.

Council tax support unfairly removed (temporarily) because of a technicality and mistake by someone else.

Taken to court for claiming free prescriptions.  When I was in fact eligible.

Being criticised for failing interviews by saying inappropriate or irrelevant things.

I'm too normal and able  to claim any disability benefits and adjustments.  But too much of an oddball to function in normal society.

Rant over, congratulations that your life is getting better.

Update, I have been awarded, High Rate Enhanced ESA and also High Rate PiP, I have an assessment on Thursday 19/10/17, to decide which ESA group I will be put into, in short. I am in a good position. I live now in supported a housing project (Temporary) I have my own flat. Hendrow is in a happy, and Autistic space now. (I am still awaiting my Aspergers assessment, I should get a letter through the post any day now.) One hopes that all is well with all of you.                                                Kindest Regards, Hendrow.  

Hey People, I have my ESA assessment  on the 19th October 2017. Has anyone got any advice for me?? Thanks in advance. I will be back online in the next few days, I will start posting again.

Yesterday I found out I have an assessment for PiP Benefit, (whatever that is) at my new, supported housing address. It is around Midday on the 20th September 2017.

Glad you're okay, Hendrow.  We were wondering how everything was going.

Take care

Tom

Realise you have some major stuff going on and missed you online.

hang in ther Hendrow

I am not sure what happened to my account here???  Just so you all know, I, (Off Screen and in reality) somehow ended up with a PiP Assessment and Capability for work Assessment all within a 50 hour period. 'One on a Wednesday and then the other on the Friday' Bear in mind, I also had my 'homelessness situation to deal with' worsening health leading to lot's of test etc. Causing me to think . . . . . . . What The "Funky Music" is going on here?? Returning to the first non rhetorical question, What Happened To My Account Here?? 

Are you ok?  Missing you here....even the jokes !!

How are things going, Hendrow?

Speaking of Assessments, I have one on the 22nd,23rd and the 31st of this month. Housing, ESA and PiP respectively, I don't know how that happened.  

Speaking of Assessments, I have one on the 22nd,23rd and the 31st of this month. Housing, ESA and PiP respectively, I don't know how that happened.  

I am not sure if this will work? Test  A1.

Thank you.

Hendrow said:

I have been officially diagnosed as having ASD from birth. (They are looking into ADHD, I have been on the waiting list since 2017.)

Yay on the diagnosis poetical dude ~ and yay on the being back on the forum too!

Hi Ellie! great to hear about your first appointment too!

Congrats Hendrow I bet thats a relief, I got my diagnosis a year ago tomorrow and it was for me. Be kind to yourself, its a lot to take in and I'm still processing it 12 months on.

Congratulations Hendrow!! It is also great to have you back on the forum!!  I have my first assessment appointment in March 2019!

And so it begins....... :) 

I have been officially diagnosed as having ASD from birth. (They are looking into ADHD, I have been on the waiting list since 2017.)

Thanks Robert, I will keep you all informed.

Being in the support group means you don't have to look for work.  Or be forced to attend regular meetings.

Copied From the government website.

Work-related support

Following your Work Capability Assessment you’ll be placed in either the work-related activity group or support group if you’re entitled to ESA.

Work-related activity group

You must go to regular interviews with an adviser who can help with things like job goals and improving your skills.

Support group

You don’t have to go to interviews, but you can ask to talk to a personal adviser. You’re usually in this group if your illness or disability severely limits what you can do.

I 'would' that it works out just as you desire. 

if you can check out the publishing thread a young Aspie wanting to put together a magazine x

ASAP...Austustic  Spectrum Assessment Pronto for me x

Well, "Oh How, I wish I knew your real name" now that my financial and mental well-being are being addressed. I should soon be able to focus on getting, My Aspergers Assessment completed (ASAP). It would also mean that I could the focus on my writing and drawing, My voice over and I also want to learn to play a song on an acoustic 6 stringed guitar. Not forgetting the most important things in my life. (My research and TWRH studies.) The jokes will continue, know that for sure. H. thanks for the comment

I don’t know but it is really really good to hear from you x

Does anyone know what it means when your EESA Medical is abandoned, because the Doctor (Assessor) Did not think I was able to comprehend the questions and that I cannot be made to work? As in his opinion, he thinks I cannot work and said as much to my support worker. 
She then said "I think you will be going into the 'support group' Whatever that is"? Bearing in mind that I was recently awarded, Enhanced PiP, (Not, Mobility though) at the same time my EESA payments enhanced and there increased. I heard that there is an additional 'Premium or Payment' if you will, that I might be entitled to, what is it, how and Why Please? Sorry about the two questions in one. If You know? Please let me know.
Regards, 
Hendrow.

Congratulations that you are happy and things are doing well.

I am on the infamous Universal Credit.  And it's fighting all the way.

This year:

Threats of eviction and fines because I'm behind in the rent.

Council tax support unfairly removed (temporarily) because of a technicality and mistake by someone else.

Taken to court for claiming free prescriptions.  When I was in fact eligible.

Being criticised for failing interviews by saying inappropriate or irrelevant things.

I'm too normal and able  to claim any disability benefits and adjustments.  But too much of an oddball to function in normal society.

Rant over, congratulations that your life is getting better.

Update, I have been awarded, High Rate Enhanced ESA and also High Rate PiP, I have an assessment on Thursday 19/10/17, to decide which ESA group I will be put into, in short. I am in a good position. I live now in supported a housing project (Temporary) I have my own flat. Hendrow is in a happy, and Autistic space now. (I am still awaiting my Aspergers assessment, I should get a letter through the post any day now.) One hopes that all is well with all of you.                                                Kindest Regards, Hendrow.  

Hey People, I have my ESA assessment  on the 19th October 2017. Has anyone got any advice for me?? Thanks in advance. I will be back online in the next few days, I will start posting again.

Yesterday I found out I have an assessment for PiP Benefit, (whatever that is) at my new, supported housing address. It is around Midday on the 20th September 2017.

Glad you're okay, Hendrow.  We were wondering how everything was going.

Take care

Tom