Worried

I don't know if I've been a good or bad influence on my two children (one NT, the other showing slightly more AS traits, but probably sub-clinical).  Hopefully I've been a reasonably positive influence, but really I've just been me, and my (probably aspie) wife just her.

They've both just about made it to adulthood & seem fairly happy in their career/education choices.

One of them now as an Aspie partner (who was instrumental in me deciding to go for diagnosis), so at least she treats AS as normal!

Hi NAS23526,

NAS23526 said:

Quesions if he is like me

1. Will i be a good influence or bad? Am i the best person or worst in helping in situation

Well every father can be a good influence and a bad influence, just keep the bad influences good - such as bad dad jokes, bad dad fashion, bad dancing dancing and all those parental sorts of things that make children want to be more themselves.

When it comes to being the best person you can be as a parent - that can apply for father-son things, and what you are worst at ~ that can be what your wife is best at; as applies for mother and son things.

Never underestimate how meaningful it is for an autistic child to have an autistic parent - absolute major bonus factor ten. Seriously a good thing having someone else who is close to you and understands you as being on the autistic spectrum or wavelength also ~ seriously a very good thing indeed.

NAS23526 said:

2. What can i do to make him better than me?  I fake majority of social interaction.

Do not make him better than you - only you can be you, and only he can be who he is.

Perhaps, if your son needs to do the social faking thing ~ which the vast majority of most people do in general anyway ~ he can learn from you what is what, or at least how you managed to deal with things. And even if you could not deal with things - your hindsight will be invaluable.

NAS23526 said:

3. How can i make my NT wife better prepared do i explain i analize everyone i meet and then consider there motives. That i need to understand everything i enjoy doing down to finite level. That the only way i am enjoying a party is if i have managed to dumb my senses down enough not to care or i can talk about my specialised subject all night with someone. Talking about my differences is dam awkward.

Well, as basic structure of explanation, that seems rock-solid.

NAS23526 said:

I dont dislike people its just i have not understood the parameters of our conversationand your original question query random fact is wrong and needs to be explained correctly. Im am really annoying at this but misinformation and incorrect facts being spouted annoy me so dam much. Still need to improove on this any suggestions here?

As an addition to your previous explanation - this seems rock-solid too. The suggestions for improving how you cope with misinformation and so fourth ~ maybe lets have a look at that subject later.

NAS23526 said:

General Question

1. Could his condition be worse than mine?

I would on the same basis as you are who you are, and your son is who he is; perhaps address his condition as being individual to your's and his mother's - and help to enhance what is there rather than what society would like to be there. Remember that what we as children learn verbally in the first few years of life is alot of blah- blah-blah-blah stuff - so speak simply and concisely in relation to what is there in a factually (or concretely) objective way.

Consider that a picture of a car is only a picture, whereas a car is a car - and so fourth.

Also - just because someone is slow to start means not that they cannot catch up or exceed later. Remember always though that nothing is certain until it is certain, and being worried about things is going to unsettle you and anyone close to you. Maybe instead be concerned in a caring a thoughtful way - which is already rather evident given what you have so far written. Parenthood is stress-full enough in it's own right - do you really need to add to it?