I really wish that I could hibernate. This time of year has nothing to commend itself to me. I hate the dark, cold, grey days of winter. Most of the family I have lost died in winter. The worst bullying I experienced was in the run up to christmas and at christmas work social events. Before I retired, I used to look forward to some time off work and to overindulging in food and drink. I am now more health concious, and always used to hate the mixture of hangovers and that dreadful moment of getting on the scales in January to see what damage I had done.
I think I come from an autistic family. The more I read, the more asd traits I remember in my parents. They wouldn't take part in Christmas when they became older. They had a bare minimum of contact with the outside world, once they retired. I am not as unsociable as they are, but christmas has too much socialising and even the nicest of pubs is noisy and overcrowded.
January had a strange effect, in that I would become hyperactive, crash diet, and decide I could survive by will power alone. I would focus entirely on my goals until the horrible moment of realisation came, that I was trampling over everyones feelings and great waves of resentment were hitting me from everyone I knew. I would then crawl away and hide until the worst was past. By the end of February, life would return to normal and I could look forward to spring.
Is there anything nice about this time of year?
I think it is good to hang on to the inner child and enjoy what we do enjoy, in that fresh uninhibited way that children do. I love the spring and summer and early autumn. I get really exited about going on holiday, or just a day out. I can get completely over enthusiastic about exploring new places, and go out at 5am to enjoy the dawn.
Some bits of our lives get tarnished, but we can look forward to the good bits to see us through.
Perhaps what I need to do,is work on creating some good winter events, to look forward to now and remember next year.