I really wish that I could hibernate. This time of year has nothing to commend itself to me. I hate the dark, cold, grey days of winter. Most of the family I have lost died in winter. The worst bullying I experienced was in the run up to christmas and at christmas work social events. Before I retired, I used to look forward to some time off work and to overindulging in food and drink. I am now more health concious, and always used to hate the mixture of hangovers and that dreadful moment of getting on the scales in January to see what damage I had done.
I think I come from an autistic family. The more I read, the more asd traits I remember in my parents. They wouldn't take part in Christmas when they became older. They had a bare minimum of contact with the outside world, once they retired. I am not as unsociable as they are, but christmas has too much socialising and even the nicest of pubs is noisy and overcrowded.
January had a strange effect, in that I would become hyperactive, crash diet, and decide I could survive by will power alone. I would focus entirely on my goals until the horrible moment of realisation came, that I was trampling over everyones feelings and great waves of resentment were hitting me from everyone I knew. I would then crawl away and hide until the worst was past. By the end of February, life would return to normal and I could look forward to spring.
Is there anything nice about this time of year?
I am not a fan of Christmas either. What I hate the most is not the socialising per se, but having to do small talk and polite socialising. And having nothing but "what are you doing for christmas"? "what presents did you get"? type tea-room conversations at work. If I tell the truth (that a close relative is very ill so am trying to keep it together and make Christmas nice for them) then it will go down like the proverbial f**t in a lift!
Look on the bright side though. On the 22nd of December the days will start getting longer :-)
I do hate winter. Right from the moment when summer turns into autumn (which, let's face it, is the name for the first half of winter) it gets so cold, dark and depressing. Like a visual representation of my life.
I do, however, love Christmas and looking forward to it gets me through the winter. I'm worried it won't be that way forever, though. The excitement now comes on much later than it used to when I was a child, and last year I was very upset on Christmas Eve because I didn't feel at all Christmassy.
The other thing that gets me through the winter is my birthday, when I'm always made to feel special. But I'm worried that will become sour as well, as I'm soon to turn 20 and I still feel like a very small child.
I think it is good to hang on to the inner child and enjoy what we do enjoy, in that fresh uninhibited way that children do. I love the spring and summer and early autumn. I get really exited about going on holiday, or just a day out. I can get completely over enthusiastic about exploring new places, and go out at 5am to enjoy the dawn.
Some bits of our lives get tarnished, but we can look forward to the good bits to see us through.
Perhaps what I need to do,is work on creating some good winter events, to look forward to now and remember next year.
Very true Marjorie! There are good things about this time of year - I like quiet country pubs with log fires and mulled wine, being by the sea in stormy weather, getting cosy in front of the telly with a stack of box set DVDs. Agree, it is important to plan things to look forward to, it is easy to forget that bit!
I absolutely detest Christmas and wish I could escape the whole thing. It brings back a lot of bad memories, I hate all the small talk. I can either lie about it (pretending that I have friends or go anywhere other than work and home) or tell the trut and deal with the horrified reactions. I found out that my team mates went to a Christmas meal last week and they'd kept it secret from me, which hurt as I actually thought I was able to gel with them quite well. I wish Christmas wasn't rammed down my throat; it truly depresses me.
i find christmas very hard. i have alot of family away. i miss my animals that were my family that passed away-they were my life and i can't explain how much they meant to me. and i find having relatives that have aspergers as well as me very hard to cope with, so i am at crisis point most of the day, climbing the walls with stress and anxiety. i also get dissapointed badly too-causing me to become severely hypersensative. i find that if i surround myself with my animals-which keeps me busy, the day has meaning. going for a walk, using my rowing machine,using this community, gives the day purpose too. i do find that if the weather is gloomy- i always tell myself that at some point at least in the week, the weather becomes crisp and bright like today. The birds have been in the garden and i refuse to indulge,which can make you feel worse. and i have my g.p appointment in a few weeks too.
I find Christmas difficult and I am NT - I think! There is just so much pressure on everybody to be jolly. This year I have played everything 'down' and it is so much better. Christ wasn't actually born at Christmas either (possibly September time)so it makes me laugh that there is so much hype and expectation!- we need to get back to basics!
Try not to focus too much on your GP appointment - distract yourself and take one day at a time- I'm sure it will all work out fine.
All the very best Sunflower x
In all honesty i dont like christmas much just too much trying to keep up with kids
all i want is my own space after everyone opened presents but that dont happen
its difficult to pretend to be happy when people tell you to be happy
I have a strange Christmas! I work as a catsitter (visiting rather than staying), and it's the busiest day of the year. I spend all day walking (no car and no public transport) and visit lots of cats. Some of the clients leave presents and cards, and there's texts to be sent and notes to be left, but I hardly see anyone.
It can be hard sometimes: I kept it to 10 visits this year as my health hasn't been great, but usually I do up to 15. I get home so tired I usually haven't got the energy to even microwave food. And this goes on for several days... A couple of years ago there was torrential rain one day, and I came down with flu. I was about to phone my agency boss and ask if anyone could cover some of my visits and she phoned me and asked me to cover one of someone else's (they'd gone off with flu... and I did it!)
It's 5 or 6 years now I've been doing this. But I would like to see my family next year. I've had some meltdowns at Christmas with them before, but it would be nice to do it occasionally even so!
In the lead up to Christmas shops can be awful. I like getting last minute bargains, but hate the crowds. One year at a local sainsburies I saw the police called to an argument over half a cucumber (I am not kidding)
The tape of Christmas songs they've been playing has been irritating me too. Wouldn't be so bad, but the woman singing does them in a jolly, happy way. There's 'The Ugly Duckling': a song about how everyone hates someone who's ugly, but when they become beautiful suddenly they are liked. Really I don't see anything 'jolly' about a story of someone feeling they have to hide away because they are ugly. And of course people shouldn't be judged on appearances.
Then there's 'Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer', which again features someone being teased and left out because of their appearance. I suppose you could say it's better, because at least he becomes useful with the same appearance. But does anyone really believe all the other reindeer suddenly love him because Santa finds a use for his nose? Sounds like they are all trying to suck up to Santa to me. And why didn't Santa do anything about the bullying before?
I know there's a positive message in both of them (things will get better... everyone has strengths that will be revealed...) but I can't be completely comfortable with how the dark side, appearance orientation and bullying in the stories is taken for normal. None of the bullies receive any consequences.