male female etc,

Though anatomically a male (this sounds awkward) and straight. I have had some messed up sex life in my youth (I am 77),but no stable relationship. I understood very lately that if I could have some success in the field of romance  it was only because I was attractive. I was also sweet, though my sweetness derived from my fear and lack of aggressiveness. I was shy. I was also literate, so for some kind of women, I had many qualities that might make me, mistakenly,  desirable. This brings me to the core of the point I want to make. You may know a language (say Finnish) enough to talk to a Finn, but if for this you have to keep in your bag a dictionary (or to search in your mind for the right word), if you are not fluent in reading in others' mind you only are brought to fake some competence you don't possess. You become a showman, you cannot really be sincere. Many performers in cabarets, impersonators, are people lacking identity (Alec Guinness, Peter Sellers, and many others less famous or simply considered eccentric, bizarre). Traces of mannerisms in  social behavior are an indication of a non consolidated and not self assured personality which is one step in the direction of autism.  I would say that in the field of attractiveness, the problem is how to manage your attractiveness. At the far away times of my youth I didn't even know about such built in deficiencies as may exist for the “miswiring” of your mind, and I read tons of psychoanalytic literature (which I now consider garbage) that might only mislead me and have mislead millions around the world. Bettelheim (which I read and studied) is still reprinted twice a year in my country. Not to talk of Freud and his epigones.

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  • Cause incompetence I posted twice this. It should be under Old people etc.

  • I know this thread is six years or seven years old depending if you start at the initial post,,,but felt it was amazing, I don’t know if any of the contributors are still here but two names,,hope. And mozlady seem familiar,

    Anyway I was researching Male and female aspie traits as you do and saw this as a “Related topic on the right of screen,

    I found abloner extremely eloquent and the words used were so fluent it was like reading a beuatiful poem,

    So it has an interesting topic for discussion. Sexuality and ambiguous sexual orientation.

    I am male and have certain desires as a male, but I seem to connect with the female mind more so than Male!

    Is it that I do not understand the NT male thought process? And it is not that I fit with female thinking just that I find it easier to feel emotion,sensitivity, I am deeply effected if I see suffering or pain,even injustice can make me feel physical pain.is this how I seem to connect easier. I am of coarse talking NT female although I connect with such lovely caring women on here too.

    Over my life I have learnt to cope by hiding my emotions” be tough” but as I get older 54 I seem less able or not willing to hide who I am!

    so plenty to discuss, enjoy and be happy()

  • Yes, reading abloner made me think of Henry Miller...

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