Any people over 40 on here ?

Hi my name is Sylvia - I am yet to be diagnosed - still waiting after 1yr 3mths - but have 4 more in the family  diagnosed about 2 years ago - who all went private - my daughter is just beginning her journey on the assessment - I am 57 and I am 99% sure that I am withing the Aspergers Spectrum and just wondered if you get more tired - I have worked since I was 15 - we had to in those days - there were many problems along the way - I now find that I dont want to go to work - my body is able but my brain lacks motivation - I have to go back next weekend - I work 2 nights although it should be 3 - I am just tired and feel happier now closer to home - how does anyonelse cope with this? I also would like to make interesting friends cos I am so bored by my old ones, and I do not say this lightly - I have known them for over 15 years, and have broken away from them - they dont talk, they dont want to get on in life - I am still going in for my Degree in Counselling this year and also waiting to find out if I can be a Registered Childminder again - and they dont laugh and have no sense of humour - I like the different things in life - Sylvia

  • I am 61, Sylvia.

    I suspect the tiredness is just what happens as you get older. I took early retirement from my job at 56 because I was finding it harder and harder. Also at that time my youngest son (AS) was going through a really bad patch and the stress of that was making doing my job more difficult.

    Sounds as though you are actually doing really well if you are doing a degree. 27 years in my job have made me too tired to study.

    I have read "Aspergirls" and I am pretty sure I have a lot of features of AS, but I don't feel the need for a diagnosis.It just helps me understand why some things have always been difficult for me. It has also helped my son because he can just say "Mum's having an Aspie moment".

  • I'm convinced that as one gets older it becomes more difficult to deal with the stress involved in coping with living in an NT world and this results in tiredness and a disinclination to any more make an effort.

    I'm now retired so I don't have the problem of getting to work but the difficulties I've had all my life in leaving the house/travelling are now much worse as a result of mobility problems, which may or may not be permanent.

    I didn't get a diagnosis until a couple of years ago and I wonder whether it's worse for those of us who reached 40 (or maybe 50, 60 and upwards) than for people who are diagnosed in childhood or early adulthood and receive therapy and support.

  • I think most people get tired more quickly and less motivated with the same things and less patient, when they get older, but for us we find ordinary life a lot more stressful anyway so it is harder for us to keep going. I was in my 50s when I got a diagnosis and I think that for those who are diagnosed in childhood they at least know what it is and can understand themselves better and may get some support. We have not known why we struggled so much and have felt inadequate.

    I wouldn't like to be young again (though if I had a choice I wouldn't get any older either).  Although my friends are NTs they are good friends and still interesting even though I have known them a long time.  Apart from these few people I have withdrawn from the NT world (as much as is possible) and I am so much happier for it. If I have to communicate with the outside I much prefer to do it on the computer because I get time to think, and if I get distressed they don't have to know. My problem with the telephone is it is too immediate.

  • I was diagnosed in 2011 and I'm now 68 and I cherish my differences.  I've always been positive and I enjoy life.  Just been out with a group today on our railway.  Been clearing rocks, rubble and earth and loved every minute of it, despite it being exceedingly cold.  I do my thing whilst they get on with other works, so you can be on your own but in a group, so to speak.  We have some great banter too.  It's so important to keep active when you get older.  I think it makes a lovely contrast outside doing physical work with all my lists and databases that I am compelled to make!

  • Yes :-) I'm over 40 :-) I notice this post is 5 years old; I wonder how you all are?