Should I seek a diagnosis or not?

Over the last couple of years I've come to realise that it is very likely that I am autistic/aspergers. In every online test I take I score very highly. My son is autistic and so as I have learnt more about autism I've felt that it would explain a lot of how I am and feel. 

I am now considering seeking a diagnosis but I am unsure whether to go for it and was hoping that some of you may be able to tell me what the benefits might be.

I'm a 38 year old woman, married with 2 young children. I think I am very good at masking outside of home but it takes a huge amount of effort. At home I'm constantly on edge, I wonder if I'm trying not to mask but then being judged for it so not sure who to be. I left work to care for my son but I don't feel I could return because I'm afraid of repeating some horrible experiences I have had there. I'm exhausted and struggling with anxiety, and the fight to get my son the support he needs is taking its toll on me because of all the meetings and phone calls. I am, though, worried that the people in my life who I have difficult relationships with could use a diagnosis to say that all of the problems are just because I'm autistic and not due to any bad behaviour on their part. 

Do you think a diagnosis might help me? If so, in what ways? 

Thank you for taking the time to read this far.

Parents
  • Greetings. I always write this...

    Gaining an Official Diagnosis gives access to extra things IN LAW. Extra support, Services, and better understanding/consideration. And so, yes, always push for a proper diagnosis and it is certainly worth it. If one GP will not refer you, then go and see another. And it takes a long time, waiting-list-wise, and so just ask for it as you have opportunity to do so. Good Luck. (Do not "mask" during your diagnosis, by the way.)

Reply
  • Greetings. I always write this...

    Gaining an Official Diagnosis gives access to extra things IN LAW. Extra support, Services, and better understanding/consideration. And so, yes, always push for a proper diagnosis and it is certainly worth it. If one GP will not refer you, then go and see another. And it takes a long time, waiting-list-wise, and so just ask for it as you have opportunity to do so. Good Luck. (Do not "mask" during your diagnosis, by the way.)

Children
  • Replying to the above do not "mask" during your diagnosis can you explain in detail what you mean by this please? 

    The thing I will say is with every extra year of your life you seem to mask more as you learn sayings or replies for people's comments. Speaking from my own experiences growing up the hardest part for me was leaving school and having to face the world.

    There was many times through my teen years and early twenties that I often wouldn't reply to people when for example they said something like "How are you" and I would either reply "alright" but then also listening to other people's replies to those sort of questions they would reply " good thank you how about you" for example. So then I would use this for future socialising often feeling like a programmed robot trying to be normal rather than just be myself. 

    I don't  think you can ever mask when you put your foot in it by coming out with something out of the blue or doing something what others would consider stupid.