Should I seek a diagnosis or not?

Over the last couple of years I've come to realise that it is very likely that I am autistic/aspergers. In every online test I take I score very highly. My son is autistic and so as I have learnt more about autism I've felt that it would explain a lot of how I am and feel. 

I am now considering seeking a diagnosis but I am unsure whether to go for it and was hoping that some of you may be able to tell me what the benefits might be.

I'm a 38 year old woman, married with 2 young children. I think I am very good at masking outside of home but it takes a huge amount of effort. At home I'm constantly on edge, I wonder if I'm trying not to mask but then being judged for it so not sure who to be. I left work to care for my son but I don't feel I could return because I'm afraid of repeating some horrible experiences I have had there. I'm exhausted and struggling with anxiety, and the fight to get my son the support he needs is taking its toll on me because of all the meetings and phone calls. I am, though, worried that the people in my life who I have difficult relationships with could use a diagnosis to say that all of the problems are just because I'm autistic and not due to any bad behaviour on their part. 

Do you think a diagnosis might help me? If so, in what ways? 

Thank you for taking the time to read this far.

Parents
  • I am 52, and literally just got my official diagnosis this week. I found that since becoming aware that all my issues are down to asd my life has been so much easier. My close friends and my husband have been so much more understanding as they have come to the realisation that I’m not just being awkward about things, ‘thick’ when I don’t understand something, and argumentative when I am trying to understand the reason behind a decision. Now I know for sure, it probably won’t change much in terms of relationships, but I now feel I am in a position to challenge things in the everyday world like writing to Tesco and asking them not to have the music so loud, or making use of our local shopping Mall’s ‘autism hour’. I now understand why I hate shopping in the city so much, why I cant bear to go to Tesco when I’m on the way home from work or church (socialising is draining - I just want to get home) and why I ‘overreact’ when my husband drives a different way to where we are going, or announces he needs to stop on the way to deliver something. Now I understand that these things are my ‘problem’ and not other people being inconsiderate I actually deal with things much better.

Reply
  • I am 52, and literally just got my official diagnosis this week. I found that since becoming aware that all my issues are down to asd my life has been so much easier. My close friends and my husband have been so much more understanding as they have come to the realisation that I’m not just being awkward about things, ‘thick’ when I don’t understand something, and argumentative when I am trying to understand the reason behind a decision. Now I know for sure, it probably won’t change much in terms of relationships, but I now feel I am in a position to challenge things in the everyday world like writing to Tesco and asking them not to have the music so loud, or making use of our local shopping Mall’s ‘autism hour’. I now understand why I hate shopping in the city so much, why I cant bear to go to Tesco when I’m on the way home from work or church (socialising is draining - I just want to get home) and why I ‘overreact’ when my husband drives a different way to where we are going, or announces he needs to stop on the way to deliver something. Now I understand that these things are my ‘problem’ and not other people being inconsiderate I actually deal with things much better.

Children
  • they have come to the realisation that I’m not just being awkward about things, ‘thick’ when I don’t understand something, and argumentative when I am trying to understand the reason behind a decision.

    Lol, so true Smiley

    This exact post is the reason why getting a diagnosis is beneficial for home life. It helps the people you live with understand you better, and helps them understand the things you just can't mentally process the same way as them.

    After my diagnosis, my wife became very supportive with the things I can't process, instead of intensely annoyed that I was being "difficult". And like you say, I wasn't being difficult at all, I just didn't understand some things in the same way that she intuitively did.