I think I have a problem

Hi.

I have an official diagnosis recently. Since 2.5 years I have been separated and think that it will be great. it's not bad, I somehow take over situations, I have only a small problem with myself ...demons appeared ... fear, memory loss on the stress background, as soon as I enter the group I start to behave like a child in the fog .. the worst is from last year ... I came up with the idea of a volunteer, since it gets along with the doctors or school, this idea that maybe I will try ... after half a year I stopped, because I behaved like in depression, I could not normally speak etc .. in the meantime I started studying .. in the social department - education, working with children ... think that since the last 19 years care kids, I could go on, maybe I would go on ... it went even worse ... I forgot my name on the exam ... I go to Holland with my children for the holiday, I cant sleep... I would best swap myself in stone ...

does not show my feelings to anyone, especially children ... I feel terrible ... today I thought to go back to ex, because it would give me some stabilization, it was not wonderful with him, but I did not have such flights, as now ... I feel that if I do not do something,  I fall down and I do not up ... trace my inner strength, I have no motivation ... I feel like I'm extinguishing