Skip to main content
Close Button
Donate
  • Replies 6 replies
  • Subscribers 98 subscribers
  • Views 2948 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Depressed and don’t know what to do....

Rumpel
over 5 years ago

That’s it. I’m depressed, lonely and fed up. I’m almost 40, I have no friends and no social life. I work 42 hours a week with a further 10 spent commuting. When I’m not working I’m staring blankly at the TV or sleeping. I can’t seem to meet people, even when I go out I end up sitting by myself while other people chat and mingle. There’s no support in my area, except weird social groups where they seem to sit in a back room at whetherspoons and ignore each other. I’m so stressed by my job I just want to cry all the time, and it makes me feel even worse when people talk about being lonely and then mention their partners because... wait, you managed to get married though?

basically, life is grim, cannot see a way out, have spent 20 years trying really really hard (clubs, colleges, universities. jobs, forums...) and still come out of it as a flat out failure. Tired of trying.

Parents
  • over 5 years ago

    Well, I know the feeling.

    Rumpel said:
    weird social groups where they seem to sit in a back room at whetherspoons and ignore each other

    I've done a few of those recently. If you get a group of people who are all reserved, shy or socially anxious, a double barrier to conversation can happen. On the other hand, you may find half of them have PhDs and can be really interesting once conversation gets rolling. Smaller mixed groups can be better for sharing information though, and it sounds like you want to mix in non-autistic company but it's getting over the 'breaking the ice' stage that's a problem (and maybe other stages).

    Rumpel said:
    wait, you managed to get married though?

    Yes, quite. And fairly effortlessly in most cases. There must be more to married Aspies than meets the eye Upside down I haven't checked enough to verify the theory that partners are either very caring and considerate types, or autistic themselves (or both).

    At the risk of contradicting the wisdom of those who are just saying 'relax', you might like to try things completely different from those you have before. I don't know what you have tried before, but maybe:

    • improv, or drama. Could be good for social skills and confidence.
    • 'outings' groups with long walks or gallery visits. Socialising isn't the main purpose; it's more of a bonus, which is what it should be.
    • some group to do with something you're really interested in, so you can converse about that. I had a philosophy group where for years we hardly talked about personal stuff at all, and that suited me just fine. I met a wonderful girlfriend that way (and learned something about relationships the hard way)
    • relax
Reply
  • over 5 years ago

    Well, I know the feeling.

    Rumpel said:
    weird social groups where they seem to sit in a back room at whetherspoons and ignore each other

    I've done a few of those recently. If you get a group of people who are all reserved, shy or socially anxious, a double barrier to conversation can happen. On the other hand, you may find half of them have PhDs and can be really interesting once conversation gets rolling. Smaller mixed groups can be better for sharing information though, and it sounds like you want to mix in non-autistic company but it's getting over the 'breaking the ice' stage that's a problem (and maybe other stages).

    Rumpel said:
    wait, you managed to get married though?

    Yes, quite. And fairly effortlessly in most cases. There must be more to married Aspies than meets the eye Upside down I haven't checked enough to verify the theory that partners are either very caring and considerate types, or autistic themselves (or both).

    At the risk of contradicting the wisdom of those who are just saying 'relax', you might like to try things completely different from those you have before. I don't know what you have tried before, but maybe:

    • improv, or drama. Could be good for social skills and confidence.
    • 'outings' groups with long walks or gallery visits. Socialising isn't the main purpose; it's more of a bonus, which is what it should be.
    • some group to do with something you're really interested in, so you can converse about that. I had a philosophy group where for years we hardly talked about personal stuff at all, and that suited me just fine. I met a wonderful girlfriend that way (and learned something about relationships the hard way)
    • relax
Children
  • over 5 years ago in reply to Cassandro

    I feel I'm getting depressed as well. I've done a lot of research about depression and it seems that the more you're not doing anything to change it the worse it gets. that's why i think that it is the right time to visit a doctor. autism and depression isn't by far the best combination