Published on 12, July, 2020
That’s it. I’m depressed, lonely and fed up. I’m almost 40, I have no friends and no social life. I work 42 hours a week with a further 10 spent commuting. When I’m not working I’m staring blankly at the TV or sleeping. I can’t seem to meet people, even when I go out I end up sitting by myself while other people chat and mingle. There’s no support in my area, except weird social groups where they seem to sit in a back room at whetherspoons and ignore each other. I’m so stressed by my job I just want to cry all the time, and it makes me feel even worse when people talk about being lonely and then mention their partners because... wait, you managed to get married though?
basically, life is grim, cannot see a way out, have spent 20 years trying really really hard (clubs, colleges, universities. jobs, forums...) and still come out of it as a flat out failure. Tired of trying.
Then stop trying so hard. Oddly enough, it was my experience that love most definitely did not happen when I was trying as hard as I could. On the contrary, I found myself in love after forgetting about trying so hard and just being myself.
On the other hand, be careful what you wish for. I have an ex-wife, have been paying maintenance for the last 17 years, and may yet find myself in similar straits all over again.
I figure a 42 hour week is about the level I need to put in to keep my head above water. I did the commute you have for nearly ten years but recently figured out I ought to shorten it. I managed to save 40 mins per day, in return for a >£10K pay cut, including a whole lot less hassle. Some of the best money I ever "spent".