Published on 12, July, 2020
i started a new job a few months ago and I’m not going to manage. My mental health is worsening and I didn’t disclose my aspergers when I started so I’m not going to disclose it now as it would feel deceitful. They’ve pulled a fast one with my shift pattern so I cop most of the respite admissions - this, on top of my usual responsibilities is too much - they’ve put an extra staff on to help me, but I couldn’t even find her.
If I go sick, can I hand my notice in and cease employment then continue on ssp until I decide what I need to do? I’ve worked all my life (30 years) without signing off sick so it’s not something I would do lightly. I’ve made a mistake and I want to put it behind me.
I can’t sleep properly, I have nightmares when I do sleep, I’m shaking and sweating at work, meds aren’t helping and I’m having thoughts of self harm. I wish I could break something then I wouldn’t have to go in.
Hi KittyTheCat,
I understand your situation. I've been in that situation myself a couple of times. On both occasions (one connected to bullying at work, one to my witnessing abuse at work) I ended up having a breakdown and going on long-term sick leave. Just the prospect of going back made me sicker. On both occasions, I stayed off work on the sick until my employers decided to terminate my employment. If you do decide to go down the 'going sick' route, it would certainly be in your best interests not to give notice straight away - at least until you can find something more suitable. If you stay off for long enough, your employer will need to do something. An occupational health assessment is standard. As Misfit says, speak to OH, anyway. Don't just leave, because it'll create problems for you if you need to claim benefits.
People may tell you that trying to get another job whilst sick is not easy. But many employers are understanding about such issues. I've never had a problem getting work again, even after very long periods of sick leave (3 years once). Also, I always think it's necessary to disclose your diagnosis to a future employer. Any job may seem fine on the surface, and presenting no immediate problems. But if something then happens down along the line, you don't have a leg to stand on. You can't then say 'Sorry... I have autism. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before.' That could lead to instant dismissal for failure to disclose.
If you think you are going to leave the job anyway, then I would say you have nothing to lose by disclosing your diagnosis. Just mention that you didn't feel the diagnosis was relevant until they started to change your shift pattern, which you are finding difficult to cope with.
It may then give them a chance to reassess things and help your mental health if nothing else. I am going through a similar thing as I have started a new job and I am really struggling to adjust. I go into mini meltdowns where I become overwhelmed and things that I can normally handle just become too much, so I appreciate the toll this can take on you.
If things still don't work out, then you can move on and put it behind you - easier said than done, I know.
Your mental health is the priority, so make sure you do what is right for you and make sure you spend some time recovering so you don't burnout.
Can you turn your thoughts round a bit? I’m not working now but the process of going through dismissal or redundancy due to health isn’t pleasant. Things were going ok before the changes? I don’t think it’s decietful per se not to declare your Aspergers but if you are going to leave in the way you said surely it’s worth giving yourself the chance to keep the job if you liked it before. They chose you for your qualities and if you explain your situation they may be amenable to making changes that you can cope with. Give yourself a breathing space before you make a big decision. You sound to be in a pickle and I expect a few of us have been in similar situations. I don’t think ( I don’t know for sure ) that ssp and giving in notice works quite like that. You need to speak to occupational health. Maybe someone can be more specific than me. Maybe you have kept going for 30 years and your stamina is reducing so less able to cope with this situation which you might have managed before. You may benefit by being open about the Aspergers and if not they may give you a quicker way out of the job .... Or if you go sick to get a breather they may resolve the issue whilst you’re off because it sounds as though the work load would be heavy duty to anyone. Awful living dreading the next shift when you know you are struggling.. been there a few times. Hope you get sorted.