Women on the Spectrum... revisited

It got BIG again! We have such a community of wonderful women here that we keep being victims of our own success!

Due to the thread http://community.autism.org.uk/f/adults-on-the-autistic-spectrum/9261/help-are-there-any-women-in-this-community-with-asd getting enormous, I have started a new post! (again)... :) 

Keep in touch

Ellie

x

  • Great answer DC and very true!

  • I'm just curious to hear your opinion on the subject.

    Um... what Miss Elephant-In-The-Room said.

    (I am neither a Cat nor a Dog Person... I kind of  like everything, except things that clearly exhibit a hatred of me at that moment, at presentation of which I run away if I can.)

  • Presentation of ASD in different genders has helped me understand how my ASD could have been missed and how in some ways it manifests itself.

    When talking online I don’t see “gender” or discriminate due to it... I see similarly wired souls..

    The forum helps to remove the complexities and added processing of faces, body language and all those additional external presentations of self... it just leaves the expression of self in words and the articulation of experience.

  • Even though I was only diagnosed last year in my fifties, I have been conscious of deliberately adapting my personality & appearance in order to blend in since my late teens. I can read non-verbal cues quite well, but it's hard to tell the degree to which I have always been able to do this, as my memory always seems to retroactively be from my current perspective (which is also why remembering past mistakes is so frustrating, i.e. I often can't understand how my past selves could have been so stupid). I also find spending too much time on my own extremely uncomforable & feel much more relaxed when socialising with friends.

    Hi PirateSanta

    Totally get your post - particularly the above statement.  We are all an amalgam of different personality traits, strengths, weakness and attributes and there is much research out there still in quite embryonic stages regarding the differences between female and male presentation of ASD...and maybe less so on the synergies or presentation at individual level.

    I started my research looking at particularly female presentation of ASD (particularly aspergers) and have read female accounts of women of our age and their daily life experiences (Cynthia Kim, Laura James) - i.e. of employment, motherhood, relationships, family etc - how they survived, how they feel that they are perceived - and and then extended that to research papers and the likes of Tony Attwood et al.

    Talking on the forum has not only helped to identify that there are other women here! (yay) and I'm not so much in the minority as I so thought as well as different people that I chat too who might share similar interests and brain wiring or life experience.

    It also helps me feel a little less isolated.

  • Well as much as I like the above picture, I'm another cat person myself.

    My Wonderful Cat

    Regarding the subject of the thread though, one of the things I get slightly 'niggled' by is the way that people sometimes refer to certain autistic traits as being exclusively male or female, & in particular that I'm confusing because I exhibit the wrong ones.

    My personal theory is that these specific traits aren't actually determined by gender, rather that they just occur more frequently in one gender than the other, just like most aspects of human behaviour or physiology, e.g. height, assertiveness, maternal/paternal instinct etc

    I've seen many articles & YouTube videos that refer to some women on the Spectrum as being 'Chameleons' or sometimes being over-sensitive to non-verbal cues, as compared to the men on the Spectrum who are always supposed to be lacking in social skills & preferring their own company.

    Even though I was only diagnosed last year in my fifties, I have been conscious of deliberately adapting my personality & appearance in order to blend in since my late teens. I can read non-verbal cues quite well, but it's hard to tell the degree to which I have always been able to do this, as my memory always seems to retroactively be from my current perspective (which is also why remembering past mistakes is so frustrating, i.e. I often can't understand how my past selves could have been so stupid). I also find spending too much time on my own extremely uncomforable & feel much more relaxed when socialising with friends.

    When I have tried to research the subject online, almost all the material I have found only talks about males on the Spectrum as being loners who are socially awkward, with the only exceptions being ASD forum threads that show up on Google searches where men occasionally describe similar experiences to my own.

    I'm just curious to hear your opinion on the subject.

  • I have had this picture prepared for a while, looking for a Thread in which to Post it. So here it is, along with the query... It seems that upon this Forum, CATS are liked, yet DOGS are associated with... well, not so much, here...? 

  • That there is not a lot of "chat" here may be because it is Summer...?  Or is it because the Thread Title is not a question or one which invites curiosity...?

    Are there any women here?

    Miswired Women of the Internet!

    ...That sort of thing...?

  • Look after yourself, ok 

  • It’s goid to hear from you and I’ve been thinking of you x

    im glad your schedule has given you some time (even though small) to gather and centre yourself 

    x

  • Definitely another ball in the air not to drop. School's out next week but a lot of things are finishing. Yesterday was free during the day and I made headway with several new paintings. Last year I sold several and it's time to look at trying for more fairs. By the end of June I'll be free to take on some local Montmartre events again. The funeral is next Monday on the 11th, fly out Sunday. 

  • Yayy! Yippee! Huzzah! You are okay and still awesome and Great Fortune to You and Thanks and all kinds of Great Stuff back to you, and Phew! And Yay! And...

    *Ahem*... What I mean to say is, Thank You Very Much for Posting Mr.LoneWarrior Sir, and that I am glad that you are quite well... Yet like certain others of late, just have not Posted as much. Please look after yourself, and Post as you feel.

    This next is also to Miss Elephant as well, in a way. I myself only worry when persons who posted very much and I try to follow... then suddenly disappear without explanation. It is all their business, and I only wonder and ask, that is all... but I am glad to hear that the very worst I can imagine is not true, so-to-speak.

    (I think of the Christmas Threads... for this year, the "Cast" may be very different. And this is still my first summer, and so I shall have to leave off soon as well.) Good Fortune to All from Myself.

  • Is work a useful distraction at the moment or just another ball  to keep in the air and not to drop?

  • Hi gojojo!

    Reading helped me also to frame who I was and to put my Aspie nature in context. Cynthia Kim’s website “musings of an Aspie” is a great resource and really accessible reading for NTs i hope ...

    Congratulations on your diagnosis.. I can certainly identify with the high performance / burn out loop. Being seen as intelligent, hard working, practical, capable, but others don’t always “get” that sustaining such a level of performance can be quite a struggle when you’re ND.

  • Hi ladies, mind if I join you?  I'm a 44 year old woman just diagnosed through the NHS, the usual story of never quite fitting in and feeling that I was different.  I had high flying jobs until I burnt out a couple of years ago and am now struggling to work part time in a science lab.  I love the books mentioned and have found that reading about other women's experiences has helped me to understand myself a lot better.  Just saying "hi!"

  • Thank you Ellie,,,kind of you to invite me here, I have been rather busy with a lot going on just recently. I hope you are ok and glad you started a new post,,, they do get quite popular very quickly, 

    Take care and be kind to yourself!

    x()x

  • @DisallowedCynosure ,Hi DC thank you so very much for wondering how I am!

    I am kind of ok,,,recent back pain and workload makes for a very tired warrior,  I am going through a quite period as I feel I need “ME” time to recharge myself. 

    I do keep up with things on here and if needs be I will gather myself and respond when I feel I can be of some help. Also when really nice people Ask after me,,,, like now!

    I had noticed you were posting less of late and miss your replies. We have had a mixed batch of weather, very hot recently and now thunder and lightning which throughout the day and night. Feeling even more tired as the air is more humid and breathing takes more effort.

    take care and missing your interaction on here.

    x()x

  • do feel free to join us x
    And you @Lonewarrior 

    ...Me again, though as I say, I shall post less regularly anywhere, now...

    I noticed that I was correctly "mentioned" (even though I cannot recieve Notifications!), yet Mr.LoneWarrior was not. Please try this again (I cannot do it, just as I cannot "Poll"). I am only wondering. If Mr 'Warrior is well yet does not feel like posting or anything, of late. We know about Mr Martian Tom, and the Internet is supposed to be a "gathering-community-social"-thingy...

    ...but I cannot see people from here in order to offer a "Good Day, how are you, I understand if you do not feel like talking for a while, Thank You for your time anyway."...sort of courtesy...(!)

    Keep on being you, of course, Miss Nasally-Enhanced Lady. 

  • Yes, definitely. 

  • AND thank you for your warm and friendly welcome. I have a feeling that this and other autistic forums are going to be a big part of my future X X