Bullying - With Experience

Greetings. This is one of those Threads which I have been meaning to start for a very very long time. Adults and "People with Children" are welcome to Post and/or "Vent", equally. Please feel free to write anything... and if you can, end it with some resolution/positve hindsight/result.

This is a bad Topic, which I am fed up of seeing sidelined or not fully discussed. "Being Bullied At School" is/was also actually a part of the "Diagnostic Criteria" for ASCs! Please share here experiences, and how you did or would have dealt with them. The more shared, I honestly believe, the more is learnt, if this is is discussed openly and without reservation, Thank You.

I shall begin with only a few things. Advice for dealing with Bullies includes "Ignoring them" and "Laughing them away". This advice does not work, as they either give chase, or they think that Bullying is being *enjoyed* by ALL concerned! 

Thanks for any replies in advance.

Parents
  • Me again... :-)

    I write a THANK YOU VERY MUCH to all (four) who have written so far, Fuschia, DragonCat16, Otis, and Pirate Santa. I voted all of you up, even though only 3 are allowed to be shown underneath the "Starter" Post.

    This Thread was begun as a  "Vent", and for "Venting". I am glad of the replies. As I said, share an experience and add hindsight and/or advice, if possible. I began this Thread because I was truly fed up of seeing it Started, yet then the Starter does not continue it... this is a Common thing: E.G. - "I have a child who is being bullied, help!", and then advice is Posted... and then... that starter Posts nothing after that, ever.

    Here is more from myself. It seems to be true that "Bullying" is a thing which has little solution. Even as an Adult, I am still harrassed even by Children no taller than my own arm (!), but I am not allowed to avoid/escape/defend against it. (Hence my UserName.) The main thing I learnt to do is to RUN AWAY, for this surprises any of them and by the time they have figured out what to do... I am too far away for them to do it!

Reply
  • Me again... :-)

    I write a THANK YOU VERY MUCH to all (four) who have written so far, Fuschia, DragonCat16, Otis, and Pirate Santa. I voted all of you up, even though only 3 are allowed to be shown underneath the "Starter" Post.

    This Thread was begun as a  "Vent", and for "Venting". I am glad of the replies. As I said, share an experience and add hindsight and/or advice, if possible. I began this Thread because I was truly fed up of seeing it Started, yet then the Starter does not continue it... this is a Common thing: E.G. - "I have a child who is being bullied, help!", and then advice is Posted... and then... that starter Posts nothing after that, ever.

    Here is more from myself. It seems to be true that "Bullying" is a thing which has little solution. Even as an Adult, I am still harrassed even by Children no taller than my own arm (!), but I am not allowed to avoid/escape/defend against it. (Hence my UserName.) The main thing I learnt to do is to RUN AWAY, for this surprises any of them and by the time they have figured out what to do... I am too far away for them to do it!

Children
  • I should have mentioned that I also became adept at runnung away, but not until year three of my five years of hell. I was the youngest in my year, so when I started secondary school I was still very much a kid & not that tall. By the start of the third year though, my height genes had finally begun to kick in, so I quickly became the tallest in my class & could easily outrun any of the bullies, as well as hurdle obstacles, or quickly descend staircases without touching most of the stairs.

    Sadly I can't run & jump like that any more, as my fast metabolism finally slowed down in my 30s. All that beer & chocolate has caused me to slow down proportionately to my waist size ;-)

  • Running away works great for kids at school. I was a fantastic runner at school and won several running races because of the bullies I was always having to run away from so I wouldn't get beaten up. Since I had been advanced ahead of my age group, I was actually younger and smaller than everyone in my level, so being able to run faster than them was significant.

    However, it's not possible to run away from a workplace bully without losing your job or giving up your entire career. Whereas school bullies would at least try to avoid doing their stuff in front of a teacher, workplace bullies tend to engage in public humiliation with complete impunity. It's really bad when one of the bullies is one's direct manager.

  • There are other ways to deal with Bullies, no matter what their age. I appreciate suggestions, as per purpose of this Thread.

    What always works is to "confuse" them.

    If they are Children, I use a long/uncommon word: E.G. "You are nothing but supporting AntiDisEstablishmenTarianism!", or "Go Away, or I shall use my Metronome Attack!"

    If they are Adults, I still Run, or I fallback upon my own Knowledge: "Do you know the Neutron Total of the Fluoro-Carbonates which you are about to inflict upon me?"... and while they are figuring out what I said... *then*  I run away!

    For simple people (???), I turn my back, and watch them out of the corner of an eye. I do not know why this works, but it is as if "Eye Contact" is a very very big TRIGGER. In a way, this supports the "Ignoring" business, but it does not always work.

    ...This last Post seems like "Waffle", but it is more of what I meant by asking for experiences to be Posted here, Please.

    Good Fortune to all who may read.