Bullying - With Experience

Greetings. This is one of those Threads which I have been meaning to start for a very very long time. Adults and "People with Children" are welcome to Post and/or "Vent", equally. Please feel free to write anything... and if you can, end it with some resolution/positve hindsight/result.

This is a bad Topic, which I am fed up of seeing sidelined or not fully discussed. "Being Bullied At School" is/was also actually a part of the "Diagnostic Criteria" for ASCs! Please share here experiences, and how you did or would have dealt with them. The more shared, I honestly believe, the more is learnt, if this is is discussed openly and without reservation, Thank You.

I shall begin with only a few things. Advice for dealing with Bullies includes "Ignoring them" and "Laughing them away". This advice does not work, as they either give chase, or they think that Bullying is being *enjoyed* by ALL concerned! 

Thanks for any replies in advance.

Parents
  • I'm not sure whether I was targetted by bullies for being on the Spectrum since my schooldays were in the 1970's & I was only diagnosed last year. I have always been pretty much a pacifist & regarded bullies as little more than savages. I might not have fought back physically, but I warned them that they would be punished afterward as I would report them & did so on many occasions.

    Unfortunately, this escalated the problem dramatically, as the bullies seemed to think that was cheating somehow. The school I attended had no official bullying policy (it was the 1970s!), so whilst the direct physical attacks decreased, I had to endure five years of indirect warfare on a massive scale as my parents would not allow me to change schools either.

    Needless to say this experience warped the rest of my life, causing various mental health problems that have always haunted me. For the last few years I have been suffering quite badly from depression & had many sessions with counsellors & therapists. In retrospect, it seems clear that amongst other things the school caused me to develop PTSD, since even after forty years, I still display many of the associated traits.

    With regard to bullying of children, this should always be resolved by the adults responsible for their care in the given context, as it is completely wrong to blame the child. As for the idea that being bullied is part of growing up & somehow 'Develops Character' that I heard a politician claim fairly recently, there simply arent enough words in the English language to describe the ignorance of such views.

    Hard to think of a 'Silver Lining' from my school experiences, but at least it made me extremely resistant to bullying attempts in the workplace, as these are usually resolved verbally & I can defend myself quite well in that arena.

Reply
  • I'm not sure whether I was targetted by bullies for being on the Spectrum since my schooldays were in the 1970's & I was only diagnosed last year. I have always been pretty much a pacifist & regarded bullies as little more than savages. I might not have fought back physically, but I warned them that they would be punished afterward as I would report them & did so on many occasions.

    Unfortunately, this escalated the problem dramatically, as the bullies seemed to think that was cheating somehow. The school I attended had no official bullying policy (it was the 1970s!), so whilst the direct physical attacks decreased, I had to endure five years of indirect warfare on a massive scale as my parents would not allow me to change schools either.

    Needless to say this experience warped the rest of my life, causing various mental health problems that have always haunted me. For the last few years I have been suffering quite badly from depression & had many sessions with counsellors & therapists. In retrospect, it seems clear that amongst other things the school caused me to develop PTSD, since even after forty years, I still display many of the associated traits.

    With regard to bullying of children, this should always be resolved by the adults responsible for their care in the given context, as it is completely wrong to blame the child. As for the idea that being bullied is part of growing up & somehow 'Develops Character' that I heard a politician claim fairly recently, there simply arent enough words in the English language to describe the ignorance of such views.

    Hard to think of a 'Silver Lining' from my school experiences, but at least it made me extremely resistant to bullying attempts in the workplace, as these are usually resolved verbally & I can defend myself quite well in that arena.

Children
No Data