Published on 12, July, 2020
I've not long entered my 30s and have just been diagnosed with aspergers. I had one appointment that lasted about 2 hours and then i got a second one that lasted about 15 minutes and in that time the Doctor told me she's diagnosing aspergers. It hit me a little even tho my wife has been going on about it for ages and shes the one that was telling me to go for ages.
I'm not big on social events/talking to others or even care to be honest. Hate eye contact and i gather people think im odd, even if i have to talk to my kids' teachers i do it where I'm not looking at them but that's fine as again i don't really care about others. Freinds wise i have about 3 but only mainly speak to one but he lives miles away.
What gets to me is, no matter how much people try and understand whats going on in my head or they say they know but they have no idea what i have. Even if I'm getting annoyed or need time to myself no one gets it.
My wife tries hard. She takes me everywhere knowing i hate going new places. If we go somewhere new she says i always try and start arguments and she just goes with it. she knows how fussy i am with eating and how i have different food to everyone else.
Does anyone else have this where people say they understand or say they will help/change how they react to you but yet still feel like you are being judged?
The problem is that being autistic is all anyone autistic knows.And being neurotypical is all someone neurological knows.
So a neurological finds it very difficult to think like someone autistic. In fact it is just about impossible for them to do so. So they think that you are switching on and off to suit the circumstances..They may not realise it takes a great deal of effort to act 'normally ' and that not wanting to socialise is not a whim.
As for food, I am very easy to please in my mind. To others it is very fussy earing, I just cannot eat what most would call normal food, and would never go to a restaurant, that would be a punishment in all ways as well as not being able to put the food into my mourh.
Everyone has different likes and dislikes, but these are far more intense in someone autistic. And a lot of the problems we face is as not being able to cope with the neurological way of doing things.We are very much a minority so they will always try to make us act like neurotypicals. Often when we are in need of reflective time, NT's will think we need someone with us when we want to be alone.
I would suggest you look up some resources about the way you are affected by autism and print them off for your wife. I'm sure your wife really does want to understand, but she probably finds it extremely difficult. Autism West Midlands has good resources on their website
www.autismwestmidlands.org.uk/online-resources/information-resources/
Hi,I
am 42 and was diagnosed last November. Since I thought I may be autistic which is 2 years now my family have tried to help me by pointing out when im not acting appropriately. I know they are trying to help but it actually reenforces that I am not even accepted by my family and has lowered my self esteem and self worth. I just want to be left to be me and accepted for who I am without comments just acceptance. I try hard to accept other for who they are but am not able to as they are always pulling me up on things they don't have to.
I hope in time they will stop trying to help me.