I'm a coward

I'm a coward .The question over autism spectrum disorder constantly hangs over me ,but I'm too scared to press for an assessment. Although I have autistic traits I question whether I would meet the full criteria. In fact I fit a similar thing non-verbal learning disorder better. The trouble being NVLD is scarcely recognised in this country . The local autism service doesn't cover NVLD so the fear is the rejection of an autism diagnosis will not result in other avenues being explored. This in turn would cement/strengthen the ignorant and misguided belief that everything relates back to  the mental health diagnosis. Then there is the issue that as an adult there's not much support whether you're on the spectrum or NVLD. It would be nice though to be able to say to all the ignorant f******s it was always much more than a case of being "awkward,demanding and troublesome"

[Edited by Moderator]

Parents
  • My advice, particularly based on your final sentence, is to start the process of obtaining a diagnosis.

    At the moment you are second-guessing the outcome. You question whether you would meet the full criteria but you are not an expert.

  • I think I would feel more confident if family said " Yes we definitely think you are onto something worth pursuing" . These after all are the people who know me best. I post my concerns on Facebook but nobody really takes the bait and says " Go ahead.we'll support you". It makes me think they think I'm talking out of my backside.

  • It is so important to have the support of your family and friends. I'm so sorry you don't feel supported. 
    Do you feel your family is well informed? They might have a narrow idea of what autism is based on stereotypes or one person they happen to know.

    I hope you can feel supported here. 

    There are lots of walls we can bump in to. I have come across many people with ASD1 who struggle with the reactions of family and friends. I also feel that even my supportive family thinks "well you don't have it that bad, you have a very light form" and you often get the "we are all a bit autistic", and the "well, if the label makes you happy" kind of stuff from friends.

    Maybe they are two separate issues: getting recognition for your life-long struggles on the one side and on the other side just finally understanding what exactly your difficulties are. Only a proper diagnostic procedure can get to the bottom of that. Even when you have the label - don't expect everyone to give you the recognition you desire.

    And even without a label of ASD, if via testing you are given more insight into your specific challenges which your V/P gap suggests, you might be able to educate yourself and others on your specific challenges and your needs?

    Do you think it is the fear about the results that is stopping you pressing for a diagnosis or also the lack of support? 

  • It sounds very hard for you. I do know someone with ASD who had delusional thoughts that were brought on by the chronic stress of undiagnosed ASD. Or you could have something else combined with ASD, which might make it even harder for you. It is up to the professionals to figure it out.

    It is tempting to worry about what other people will think and their judgments. In therapy I have often been told the importance of "staying in your own head", not doing the thinking for others. If other people have ignorant thoughts, it says a lot about them, not about you.

    This is your life. It seems sensible, as you are experiencing issues that do sound related to the spectrum, to get answers. You deserve to be supported. It sounds like you have been struggling long enough. 

    Do you know how to go about requesting an assessment?


Reply
  • It sounds very hard for you. I do know someone with ASD who had delusional thoughts that were brought on by the chronic stress of undiagnosed ASD. Or you could have something else combined with ASD, which might make it even harder for you. It is up to the professionals to figure it out.

    It is tempting to worry about what other people will think and their judgments. In therapy I have often been told the importance of "staying in your own head", not doing the thinking for others. If other people have ignorant thoughts, it says a lot about them, not about you.

    This is your life. It seems sensible, as you are experiencing issues that do sound related to the spectrum, to get answers. You deserve to be supported. It sounds like you have been struggling long enough. 

    Do you know how to go about requesting an assessment?


Children
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