My names is Janusz and I’m in the process of self diagnosis.
I’m also recovering addict and now I’m sober for 7 months. I feel that addiction was my coping mechanism for various issues so now I’m sober I find life very difficult. I’m not saying that I’m not happy with that I’m sober but it all came back at me.
When I share my challenges I’m accused by people close to me that I’m preparing another relaps.
So I don’t like sharing anything
Does anybody here got some experience in relation to my situation?
I genuily feel lonely.
Hi Janusz, I can relate to this. I got into serious recovery from using drugs and sometimes alcohol in 2006. I was in AA for 7 years which was the best training I ever had. I was a hopeless case and I fought it all the way, I also knew I had nowhere else to turn so I also never gave in. I knew I wasn’t an ‘addict’ but I fit the profile and it worked. Like you, I was acutely aware that when I put the drugs down, my problems started. However, I eventually gave in and admitted I needed help.
I started off in NA but it didn’t help me, it made me want to use. But AA worked for me. It was to be another addiction though, one that I had never had before (to a person/narcissist) that finally lead me to my diagnosis, 11 years after I got into recovery. The diagnosis provided the answers that were left unanswered by the 12 step programme and my own deep inner self enquiry and a recovery from narcissist abuse program.
As soon as I realised I was autistic, I didn’t hesitate to approach my gp for a referral for assessment. It was plain sailing and less than a year later I had my diagnosis.
Post diagnosis was another journey I wasn’t expecting. Full of ups and downs, loss and grief. But I’m coming through that now. I got my official diagnosis at the end of October last year and I’m coming through it better and brighter and more confident than I’ve been in my life. The diagnosis was the game changer for me. The missing piece.
It’s crucial that you share what you’re going through and you have that opportunity here and not only that, you will learn so much, you’ll get so much support and comfort just by reading about and helping other people with their struggles.
The 12 step program is the best program out there and there isn’t an organisation like it in the world. But it isn’t perfect and although it is full to bursting with undiagnosed autistic people, it doesn’t necessarily provide that additional support we need to move beyond recovery. You’re doing excellent so far. Well done, don’t lose faith in yourself, you’ve got yourself this far and you are now on the brink of something much bigger. Read the threads about diagnosis versus self diagnosis and if you have any questions, feel free to ask. Posts sometimes get overlooked, don’t be disheartened. Sometimes the forum is very active but most of the time if you ask for support or advice, somebody will pick it up. We’re all in the same boat here at different stages of awareness and gettimg our s**t together etc, but many of us have lived our lives undiagnosed and the diagnosis, whether self diagnosis or an official one, has provided us with more than answers. Many of us have been given our lives back and despite any challenges to getting the diagnosis, again, self diagnosed or otherwise, they have been worth it. Welcome, well done and it sounds like you’ve come to the right place.