late diagnosis..

Hi, I've recently - finally - got my Asperger diagnosis, preceded by an ADHD diagnosis. I'm in my 60s, and was misdiagnosed many years ago as bipolar, and had an even earlier label as a (gifted) child of being 'maladjusted'! I've since discovered that many autistic children were given this label, as child psychology was then in its infancy. Other than psychotic or schizophrenic, there were no diagnoses for children's mental health issues. My life has not been easy, and athough this diagnosis has been very welcome and has answered many questions, it's very hard for me to find anybody who can understand me and the difficulties I face. I've tried counselling a couple of times, but found that most professionals know nothing about autism other than basics like binary thinking and so find it hard to understand my (logical) take on everything. It would be great to hear back from anyone else who is in a similar situation, and to know that I'm not alone. 

  • Hi there,

    It might be a good idea to post this question as a separate thread - perhaps in 'Health and Wellbeing'.  More people are likely to see it that way, and you should get a better response.

  • Hi, my husband of 53 yrs is now in his 18th year of prostate cancer that spread almost immediately from the first surgery.  He has had

    years of treatments and never reached "remission" rather slow growth to tissue and bones.  He has had no treatment since Aug.of 2017

    and is doing OK.  My query is are there any studies relating autism (which he has) and differing responses to diseases such as

    cancer? I do realize that there are many, many different dimensions of autism and cancer.  However, his story is quite amazing

    to me and to him.

  • I forgot to say I also do some chanting which helps.

    If you can't or don't want to do that try singing.

  • I might pick your brains on the meds at some point in the future but it is probably something best done in PMs (Private messages).

    I have had lots of CBT over the years both before and after I was diagnosed and it does help to a limited extent but I think it has to be more tailored to our conditions and probably also available for a far longer period - when I am depressed I am depressed for months if not years not 6 weeks.

    I find tai chi very useful for my ASC/Asperger's and am currently self-medicating both them and my bipolar with a combination of tai chi and meditation. Perhaps tai chi could get your stress levels down low enough that you can start meditating again although it can be a form of meditation in its own right. If tai chi is not your thing exercise of any sort - it does not have to be going to the gym - is very good at reducing stress levels.

    I have no experience of CBD oil, do not know what it is and would probably be instinctively reluctant to try it.

  • Fundamentally, though, I don't really want help or support now.  I don't want to go through some course of therapy designed to make me 'fit in' more.  I'm quite happy being on the outside of society - just stepping in to do the usuals of my job, my shopping, etc.

    Hi Tom,

    You sound in better form tonight and I am pleased to read that.

    I am struggling to get to sleep tonight because I have an appointment with my GP tomorrow. Dreading it.

    It was arranged on the pretext of reviewing my blood pressure and thyroid meds but I know he will ask about my last meeting with a psychiatrist which did not go well. I'm in a better place now than I was then thanks to this forum so I hope I will be able to get through it OK. Neither he nor the consultant knew anything about aspergers by their own admission. So like you experienced,they both concentrated on my use of alcohol.

    The quote above says it all for me too. I have accepted I don't fit the normal definitions and just want to live out my life in peace and quiet, foraging out when I know I am in full control of the situation and will not be confronted with awkward social interactions. The local agricultural show for instance is something I look forward to every year. I can watch without getting drawn into anything.

    I notice a couple of mentions of CBD oil in this thread. Am I correct in assuming that is cannabis oil without the THC?

    I did mention this idea a couple of years ago to a practice nurse who was tut tutting me for the amount of wine I drink but of course it went down like a lead balloon. Just like my suggestion that the NHS  should offer e-cigs to smokers as it is 95% safer however I read recently that they are at last coming round to that idea. About time too IMHO. It will cost them a lot less than nicotine patches that is for sure and the success rate will be significantly higher. Worked for me.

    Anyway good to see you are feeling better, take care, Laddie.

  • I got my diagnosis just over 2 years ago, at the age of 56.  My experiences as a child and youth, and my school reports, all provided the pointers - except, as you say, it wasn't generally known about then.  I learned to read at 4 and was way ahead of the others in my first year at primary school.  But then it all started to go wrong, and I lost track.  I couldn't cope very well with school, and was bullied most of the way through it.  So I was give a variety of labels.  Quiet.  Shy.  Unfocused.  Inattentive.  Disruptive.  I was told I would never amount to anything.  I left early without taking any exams.  I was pretty much dismissed as a dunce.  Later though, in my 20s, I got into Mensa.  At 30, I had a degree.  University learning - more self-directed, and largely 'alone' - was more suited to me.

    I was misdiagnosed for years.  Many things pointed to BPD, but my CMHT dismissed that out of hand and bounced me off to substance misuse services - even though I didn't drink much.  This is quite common, as I understand.

    My life hasn't been easy, either - something that I find it tremendously difficult to explain to neurotypical people of my acquaintance.  'Oh, we all have tough lives in our station of life', etc.  I work for an autism trust, where at least my colleagues are trained to have an understanding of the issues.  They still get it wrong sometimes, though.  It isn't an easy thing to explain.  There are various analogies I use.  Such as, I'm a cat in a world of dogs.  Or I'm an Apple Mac in a world of PCs. 

    The diagnosis was overwhelmingly positive for me, because it enabled me to make sense of my life at last, and realise that I wasn't simply a socially-awkward, anxiety-ridden depressive with relationship issues.  I can't help wondering, though... if I'd had that diagnosis as a child, it could have made a big difference.  Fundamentally, though, I don't really want help or support now.  I don't want to go through some course of therapy designed to make me 'fit in' more.  I'm quite happy being on the outside of society - just stepping in to do the usuals of my job, my shopping, etc.

    It would be nice, though, to get a little more understanding from others.  I think it's great that people like Chris Packham are out there, in the public eye, talking about his Asperger's.  Hopefully, that can help to spread the understanding and debunk some of the myths.  It's going to be a very long and slow process though, I think.

  • Hi there, I can absolutely emphasise with your situation. My sister has only recently been diagnosed with Aspergers in her early 30s after years of wondering why she was like she was. On one hand she desperately needed the diagnosis to answer her questions but on the other hand she’s having such trouble actually accepting it and that there’s no magic pill that is going to make her feel better. It’s unbelievable that there is such little support for adults with autism.... everything is geared towards children it seems. You are definitely not alone and it’s half comforting to know that my sister is also not alone... there are others in a similar situation. If you discover anything that helps you please share!

  • I was mis--diagnosed with bipolar disorder and then a personality disorder before ASD. I never truly felt like the label fitted with those but do with ASD. I've also stopped having MH problems now I truly know who I am. I still take the BP meds though as they knock me out in an evening and I can't sleep naturally. My GP hasn't said anything yet.

    Many of the on-line counseling directory's enable you to search for autism specialists. Someone posted on here a few days ago about the difference seeing a specialist compared to a generic counselor made. 

  • Thanks for that, Taltunes, much appreciated. I wouldn't object to getting a bi polar diagnosis again, but I've been down that path and know pretty much all the meds and how the side effects were so awful I couldn't continue with them. Other than cognitive therapy, there isn't much else on offer. I know from the past that meditation would help me immensely, once I can relax enough to start again, as have been having a rough time the past year, and stress levels are sky high. I'm thinking of trying CBD oil, do you have any experience with this? It has mixed reviews but many find it excellent for many things, including alleviating anxiety. I get cross with myself sometimes, as I feel I ought to be able to self-heal if only I knew the right formula! 

  • I was going to post about ASC/Asperger's and bipolar. I am in my 50s, was diagnosed with ASC/Asperger's two years ago and today I persuaded a GP to refer me to a psychiatrist to see whether or not I am bipolar. If you had asked me three years ago I would have said I was bipolar instead of autistic but as the GP said I definitely have autistic traits even if I am not autistic. there is also no reason why you cannot be both.

    I also understand that there is someone at my local autism hub who has been diagnosed as bipolar but who is convinced he is autistic instead.

    So you are not alone.