Fear of phones?

Does anyone else have a horror of talking on the phone? I have hated using the phone since I was a child, although it is hard to pin down exactly why I dislike it so much. I think my main difficulty is 'reading' how a conversation is going when I can't see the other person. I pause for too long, or jump in too soon, or struggle to pick up crucial info from their tone - is this a bad time to call? am I making myself clear?

I am currently going through a work-related nightmare scenario where I have been asked to make loads of phone calls - in a situation I have always previously handled by email - and I feel stressed and anxious about all the time: anticipating the calls, making the calls, reflecting on the calls. It is supposed to be making everyone feel encouraged, but if any of the hapless recipients are like me they will be thoroughly put off!

I have always thought this was just a random failure on my part, but now I am wondering whether it is integral to my nature.

Parents
  • I hate having to either make a call to someone i don't know or pick up when i don't know who it is. I'm even awkward talking to people i know really well. I struggle with timings the same as you, when is it my turn, how much should i say in one go, how to start, how to end etc. Waiting for a call leaves me very anxious as i don't know when i will have to deal with it. I've been told that i sound very monotone on the phone. I suppose that's because i'm concentrating! I have avoided making some calls entirely. If i can email i will do, because that gives me time to think. I'm not good with on the spot thinking. Good luck with your work task, i know i would find that very difficult.

Reply
  • I hate having to either make a call to someone i don't know or pick up when i don't know who it is. I'm even awkward talking to people i know really well. I struggle with timings the same as you, when is it my turn, how much should i say in one go, how to start, how to end etc. Waiting for a call leaves me very anxious as i don't know when i will have to deal with it. I've been told that i sound very monotone on the phone. I suppose that's because i'm concentrating! I have avoided making some calls entirely. If i can email i will do, because that gives me time to think. I'm not good with on the spot thinking. Good luck with your work task, i know i would find that very difficult.

Children
  • I hate having to either make a call to someone i don't know or pick up when i don't know who it is. I'm even awkward talking to people i know really well. I struggle with timings the same as you, when is it my turn, how much should i say in one go, how to start, how to end etc. Waiting for a call leaves me very anxious as i don't know when i will have to deal with it. I've been told that i sound very monotone on the phone. I suppose that's because i'm concentrating! I have avoided making some calls entirely. If i can email i will do, because that gives me time to think. I'm not good with on the spot thinking.

    I am the same!

  • Reading your post reminded me of one of my worst phone calls (and that I too need time to think before using the phone).

    I'd had SEVERAL calls in a row from various family members and was becoming harassed and woolly-headed with the constant changes of focus, when suddenly a tradesman phoned to arrange a date for a home repair - I went into woolly-headed autopilot and said, "Oh...Yes, that's fine...Yes, that's perfect ...Okay, Bye, Love You!"

    I just made sure I wasn't at home when he arrived the next day. Blushing and cringing right now thinking about it.   

  • Thanks! I am just over a third of the way through and am still standing, which is something.