Does anyone else have a horror of talking on the phone? I have hated using the phone since I was a child, although it is hard to pin down exactly why I dislike it so much. I think my main difficulty is 'reading' how a conversation is going when I can't see the other person. I pause for too long, or jump in too soon, or struggle to pick up crucial info from their tone - is this a bad time to call? am I making myself clear?
I am currently going through a work-related nightmare scenario where I have been asked to make loads of phone calls - in a situation I have always previously handled by email - and I feel stressed and anxious about all the time: anticipating the calls, making the calls, reflecting on the calls. It is supposed to be making everyone feel encouraged, but if any of the hapless recipients are like me they will be thoroughly put off!
I have always thought this was just a random failure on my part, but now I am wondering whether it is integral to my nature.
I think many of us have a fear of phones. I hate them with a passion - trying to communicate with a disembodied voice, never knowing who is supposed to speak .... horrible! I am quite sure that anyone who speaks to me on the phone without meeting in person first thinks I am a complete dork.
I also hate it when the home phone rings. Even though I never answer it, I get instantly anxious as soon as it starts, it feels like someone invading my home.
I only answer the home phone if it’s my mother. She and my in laws are just about the only people who use our landline no. now and I’ve avoided speaking to my in laws on the phone for the best part of 30 years. Only my father in law left now, and he seems to have got used to it.
I have days when I simply ignore the phone, it feels like too much of an intrusion on days when I just can't face interacting with people. Writing (here, WhatsApp, e-mail etc.) is much easier. I don't think I fear the phone as much as just not appreciating the sudden 'being forced to speak' situation - as if the person has just barged into my home and demanded my instant attention.
My fear of phones comes from dealing with people who like phones just too much.
They phone too often for trivial reasons and just stay on the line... Going on and on and on. And on.......
When I try to end the call or don't answer the phone promptly. They get very angry and unpleasant.
So I dislike phones more and more.
My first job was with a consultancy and clients could and did phone with all sorts of queries at all times. While I was there I became more and more anxious and stressed.
In my last proper job I was asked to phone someone by a colleague and put off making the call for hours before reluctantly making the call when my colleague became angry that I had not made the call.
Both of these jobs were before I was diagnosed.
I think in my case it comes down to control of the situation. People expect you to reply straightaway over the phone while I prefer to think about what they have said first and only then reply.
I have a mobile phone but I use it almost entirely for texts and only make voice calls in the rare circumstances where text is not practical or it would just be quicker and easier to make a voice call.
Do you have a diagnosis and if so have you declared it to your employer? If so I think you could argue that what they are doing is causing you unreasonable distress and ask them to make a reasonable adjustment e.g. continuing to let you handle the situation by e-mail.