I was wondering how many of you have someone in person who you trust and feel you can talk openly about your autistic struggles and triumphs?
Although I don't actively seek a social life and I am happy spending time on my own, I do wish I had someone who I could talk to about some of the struggles I have been going through as well as share some of the good stuff as well.
My partner is a very understanding NT, but I sense he is tired of hearing me go on about autism and daily struggles to the point I try not to say much now unless it comes up in conversation.
I have been experiencing lots of shutdowns and difficulties at work and I envy work colleagues who have friends they can share these problems with, just to get a different perspective and feel like they are not alone or useless. You guys have been very helpful and supportive since my diagnosis and have taught me so much, but I am starting to feel like I need to speak with someone, who may be ND or at least has a very good understanding, just to talk about some of this weight and pressure I seem to be carrying as a result of not coping very well at times. It would be nice to share things with someone who I don't have to explain or play down things in order to be understood and likewise maybe even laugh at the stupidity of some situations. I also like helping other people as well and colleagues often confide in me at work as I am a good diplomat, problem solver and always act in strictest confidence . I don't get emotionally wrapped up in their problems or take sides, so I often provide a logical perspective. The problem is, I am seen more as an off-loading tool, where people rarely ask me how I am or really care about what is going on in my life. I don't want to go shouting about on my problems, but at the same time it would be nice to share problems with someone, to debate all options and share a different perspective that isn't my own. I have come to realise that what I provide for others, I rarely get back or I don't trust people enough to feel they have my interests at heart.
I was wondering if you have someone you can share and confide in, where you are not judge or made to feel uncomfortable?
It will be good to hear your thoughts on the subject.
You are in a difficult position. Some of our struggles are confidential and mixed in with other mental health problems.
People just don't want to know. And autistics in real life are not very open and sociable. And unpredictable.
On this website our identifies are confidential.
But in the real world we want to remain anonymous. Because of prejudice from the NTs.
I may have already said too much. I've been socialising a little bit with an autistic with very similar experiences and traits as me. Enough said.
Not really. Although the only people that know i'm an Aspie are my closest relatives. They try their best but i know i bore them sometimes. (Of course i don't notice that until they yawn and close their eyes and stop answering haha!!) I often get comments like 'ok, i get it, stop labouring the point!' or 'you aren't STILL going on about that are you?' Luckily i have found it really helpful to read stuff on this forum.
Counselling might be helpful, especially if you are able to find one with some experience in ASD. It's worth asking your local mental health team as it would give you a private space to speak about your worries, concerns and triumphs with someone who can help you to explore them in a useful way without having to actually socialise with them - or feel the need to reciprocate (which I'm not good at in social situations).
I think counselling is probably what I need to help put some perspective on things and get an outsider's view. I don't think I could handle the demands of maintaining a social relationship at the moment, so it would probably be a fleeting effort if I tried.
I find it peculiar that NT are not intrigued into the difference between NT and ND. The way we experience the world from birth is unique to us and is all we know, so for me, to understand how someone else sees it differently is fascinating! Sometimes I wish I could experience the world from another persons shoes, just to see how different it can be.
I would also like to understand and find out more about how NT's experience the world, I wish there was a course or something that covered that or explained it! I don't understand why there isn't considering how many courses there seem to be that 'explain' all of the ways in which ND's are 'different'.
I don't think I would like to experience the world from an NT perspective though, just to learn about it.
There was a TV programme on last night (can't remember what it was called) featuring an autistic man (John-Elder Robinson, I think.) who had undergone an experimental therapy to 'unlock' his empathy and, afterwards, he was indeed able to feel emotions from a more typically NT perspective. He found it an overwhelming experience and, I think, regrets having changed himself in such an intrinsic way.
I think it would be exhausting to be going about your daily life 'feeling' the emotions of everyone you encountered, it sounds awful to me but I do realise that I'm probably not understanding it properly. I wrote about it in an earlier thread 'Viral Emotions' but I haven't come across anything that properly explains how NT emotions actually work and if they're indeed so very different from ND.