Published on 12, July, 2020
So I swear I used to basically be fine although that being said living at home and going to school and having a schedule is a lot less trying than where I am now but also I was largely just depressed I didn't really notice much around me other than I was different.
Anyway I only just started to figure I should go see about getting a proper test because it seems to be affecting my life more and more. I think I quit uni (twice) because of it, I can't hold down a job or a relationship but at least I used to travel around the UK a bit. Now I'm mostly stuck in London as my dad wouldn't let me move back in so it's the only place I know how to live for free since I haven't been able to work and all. I'm very much a countryside person though so I miss it but also London is ridiculously stressful as people stare at me, don't smile and there's a lot of noise and stuff going on. It's gotten to a point where I'm scared of crossing roads because I can't handle all the noise and movement so I just can't process what I need to process aka a car coming at me. I tend to therefore only go out when it's dark to rush to a shop or the library and as someone who kinda needs to be able to wonder about in the forests for a few hours a day that...is not ideal. I also am currently *** on public transport. I've started wearing a hat and headphones to limit what I can see and hear but I still end up stressing, hiding behind my bag, in my hands or nearly crying. Anyway I for sure didn't used to be that bad. I think I used to have some aspie traits but like more manageable, I've never had sensory issues this hard to manage. Am I stressed about being in London or is it like some weird reaction to thinking I might have aspergers? It is making me freak out a lot like when I first realised I'm trans and I sorta knew it was so but also kept questioning it actually happening to me.
So I think I need therapy and help dealing with it plus an actual test so I can stop questioning but also I know getting a diagnosis takes forever and I kinda don't want to be in a waiting period but in the meantime any insights into people's own experiences or advice I'd love.
Also if you read this and you go by Anon in some circles please please contact me on here if you don't mind I'd really like to talk to you but if not I'll likely see you in the last weekend of February so it's not such a long wait...
J-aspie said:it's the only place I know how to live for free
...Greetings. Usually I do not reply first (I have the "First Reply Curse")... and I am Autistic and so I apologise if I may seem "rude"...
...But I just logged on, and I spotted this, and I live in London myself... and thus I would like to know what this is supposed to mean.
If you're asking how I live here for free I squat and eat food from bins. It's really quite hard to do that anywhere else in the UK at least that I know of.
If you're asking something else you'll have to be more specific...
What's the reply first curse?
...Good Fortune to you from myself NAS35206!
I did not expect an answer, and for your, um, honesty, I reply with extended interest, now! Yet, as I say, I AM Autistic, and so may go off into strange conversational topics... and please be aware that I am not very good at "Chat", yet this Internet business throws up a lot of unexpected things for me, some of which I cannot always cope with, and writing this reply would certainly be one of those unexpected things. I apologise in advance...
The "First Reply Curse" is probably a thing which exists to no-one else (here) but myself, and so do not worry about it. If it happens to you, then you shall know. It is also my own Term, and so everyone may disregard it...?
(Please see my own UserName. And what occurs is that I have "upset" the Starter and gain a lot of "Dislikes", and the Thread from then on is only a Short-Lived Thread which quickly (within a Week) disappears into obscurity...)
In closing, I apologise, yet I was greatly curious about the question I asked... thank you for answering honestly, and I hope that others Posting may focus upon other points which you made which you may find helpful. Everyone else here is generally way more "friendly" than I am, and I hope that your life goes very well. Sorry this Post is long, now...
Out of Common Courtesy, I return a Thank You. But I am becoming nervous and uncertain... and another person is now upon this Thread which IS a GOOD thing, yet I feel the urge to run away just now... I apologise! Sorry! The more others you speak to is better, and I do not Log On during the day, and I am considering a "Living in London Thread" or a "Why does my Diction become worse during Live Chatting Upon The Internet" Thread...
I might come back, but I have to sign off now, Apologies again... (that is Autism for you, really)... Good Fortune to you Sir/Madame... Um, Thank You again...
You're welcome...not at all rude and I find you quite friendly so don't worry about it!