Depression and thoughts of suicide

I am an autistic adult female with Aspergers syndrome and also suffer from what has now become irritable depression; I seem to be living a life of extreme sadness while overcome with extreme anger at the same time and find myself unable to feel any pleasure or take any interest in anything at all. I would also describe myself as a mentally damaged and psychologically messed up individual who will only become even more depressed and bitter as time goes on.

The fact that I come from a rather messed up family filled with nothing but negativity and tension has only worsened my situation. My family members - especially my dad and brother - seem to snap at me nonstop for every single thing while getting into constant fights with one another. Then I find myself subjected to many years of endless psychological abuse which I'm still suffering from today; I try to learn from those close to my own age such as in communication and every day functioning yet my parents keep comparing me to a toddler (such as a two year old) and they would do so in a cruelly nasty manner. There are too many spiteful things they have said to me that nobody should say to a mentally disabled person on the autism spectrum Yet they expect me not to be hanging on to my early adulthood years or being stuck in the past. I will continue looking back on my life being overcome with bitterness because I just don't understand why the world has to be such a dark and cruel place for someone like me. 

There are times when I don't see any point in being alive anymore - that is why I keep having horrific thoughts of ending my own life in the most horrific manner. I see suicide as the only way out at the moment.

I am planning to move out of home and get as far away from the people in my life as possible. As soon after I've moved out I will have to be staying at a mental disability clinic and will need a lot of professional help and special needs counseling. Don't be shocked if I eventually end up taking out my depression on innocent people and inflicting my pain on them because I won't be able to help any of that. I'm already on antidepressants and will probably remain on antidepressants for the rest of what is left of my life!