I posted a few days back querying the organisational skills of autistic females, which @endymion kindly responded to.
I'm the father of a nine-year-old daughter diagnosed with PDA, with some other autism and ADHD traits on my side of the family, but I'm writing to see if anyone can help with some further insight as feel like my wife has been skirting around the subject of some of her own autistic traits (eg, identifying with some of the behaviour in the recent Chris Packham documentary, commenting that some Aspergers traits sound more like herself than our daughter), but that I have been quite dismissive of it whenever the opportunity to discuss it has arisen over the last couple of years.
We are both approaching 40. I was hoping I could anonymously (sorry if it sounds like I have depersonalised her as a result) share some things about her and see if anyone had any thoughts/recognised common ground. Sorry, it's a long list - just pouring from my fingers really:
Phew. I should stop. I was trying to compile a list that was a mix of the traits she has I see as traditionally viewed as autistic, and some less so, like her social ability. Be very interested in any responses, especially from any autistic women, or relations of diagnosed women who can relate to the above list.
Thanks for your time.
Sorry. Looking back on it that was post was maybe a bit long.
Wow, that's a bit creepy - I didn't even know I had a husband or children, and now he writes about me...
I like how you started with the genuinely positive things and are trying to (and do) make sense of the issues she has. Not that it makes that much of a difference, but what makes you think it's atypical? I know someone who has that (a guy who also has a learning disability, so maybe not quite so comparable), but he got this diagnosis because he is very social, maybe overly so, or maybe his need for this is normal but usually not met. Anyway, I can identify with nearly everything you wrote, except for the one about the daughter as it doesn't apply, and I've been diagnosed with level 1 autism (formerly Asperger's syndrome).
Ha, @oktanol. Thank you for.taking the time to respond.
Maybe there are more significant issues with senory and social stuff than we realise, but I suppose the lack of evident issues as a child (in a very stable home), especially in school, makes me pause for thought. But when you see them all written down like that, there are a fair few indicators I suppose.
Felt a bit horrible documenting it all though, like I'm focusing on all the challenges/difficulties, rather than all the good stuff about her. Will try to talk woth jer about it properly. Thanks again, and for the kind words.
Yes, that may be a point, but on the other hand, if this is what your wife has said about her childhood then she may not have been quite so aware of everything. I thought I didn't really have much issues until bullying started at about 14. I didn't understand why that happened, it made school awful, but outside of school I was actually really quite happy. It required the right (or rather wrong) people, without them school could have continued being pretty good. But when I got that diagnosis and told my mum about it, hoping for some disbelief from her side, she came up with a whole list of childhood things. Not everything really fitted, but there were quite a few comments from teachers and so on apparently that really fitted rather well but I didn't know about it until then. In a way I still wish I hadn't been told all that stuff, I feel ashamed about it but can't change what happened.
@oktanol You can't change it, but whatever it was, it obviously wasn't intentional either - if it doesn't sound too much like a patronising platitude, hopefully you can forgive yourself. You've nothing to feel ashamed for if you weren't in a place to understand at the time.