How do you talk about what you're feeling (emotions)? How do you learn the vocabulary?

Other people seem to just be able to open their mouths and everything just comes glibly out and i can't say anything, it just feels fake and i can't find the words and there's no point because nobody will understand what i'm trying to say anyway. Well the last one is a condition of autism (inability to communicate), but the first two are my problem, as clearly everyone here can do this, so i need to learn. Any advice?

Also i don't understand this vocabulary that everyone uses nowadays, validate to me means check something like a hallmark; journey, life is not a journey, that's why they have different words; I said to someone, i need to feel that people feel i'm worth talking to and don't ignore me - they said, you mean validation, i'm like, no, i want to feel they feel i'm worth talking to. Why does everything have to be translated into this new language now and how do you learn it? This is a big problem for me, its ruined every attempt at counselling because i just can't make head nor tail of what they're on about and they won't speak plain english (i finally twigged that's what counselling means, it's a qualification in speaking this new language). It's because i'm old so i need a book to learn this new language, or maybe a website or videos?

Finally, my biggest problem is the insistence of the new language on translating a specific problem (feeling that i'm not worth talking to, for instance, or clamming up when feeling things) into some generic problem category, which i a) wasn't aware existed and b) don't think is my problem, i think my problem is the specific one i named. Is the translation into a generic stuff really what the new language does, is it necessary (eg to tackle a 'negative emotion', you need to discuss all negative emotions, not just your tendency to snap), or is it just a mistake of my understanding? Thanks a lot.

nb another big problem i have is, all my life i've relied on metaphors, which is very autistic: i speak the old language i grew up with in the countryside, where everything is metaphorical ('clamming up' 'clinging on' 'i just freeze' etc) and the new one is very not-concrete, full of words with no concrete meaning, like 'authenticity of feeling' (is this 'deep in your heart'?) or 'inappropriate' (i think this means, 'everyone hisses in disapproval') - is there a way other people who can't comprehend not-concrete language and concepts use to understand this new, more intellectual language? thanks!

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    • There is a huge difference between people here on the forum posting what they are thinking and feeling in writing and verbally talking out loud. There is another big difference between saying these things to like minded people on here and than face to face with someone who doesn’t understand asd. As for “new language “ .. I think that depends who you are talking to. There are social, generation and culture differences plus the way counsellors and social workers speak. Language evolves and so if we are not used to that environment then we don’t understand it. I’m not understanding what your middle paragraph is asking.. so will move onto the last paragraph. Again the way we grew up to speak in rural country areas is different to how town people speak and of course varies from county to county and Vale and dale so words and phrases  I am familiar with ( like you mentioned) just don’t mean anything to some people. Added into all that mix our problems with communication and interaction and identitying emotions  then yes we are going to find it hard. Even people I’ve known all my life using the same language is hard because I don’t read their non verbal communication and I can’t tell if they are telling the truth or joking or what they might be thinking.. so for me it’s not just the words and phrases but the whole thing. We are very lucky when we find a counsellor who we are in tune with and they instinctively know what we are trying to say. I don’t know how you would go about learning modern jargon other than looking it up or asking. It’s very strange because on the one hand I can talk about emotions but I now realise I usually can’t tell how I am actually feeling. I can talk about situations but I can’t identify the root feelings or underlying emotions. There is often so much else going on and needing attention taking up room in my head so that things just happen and not emotionally dealt with. However not sure if that makes sense or is helpful! 
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