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  • Hi spotty I am sure there is nothing to worry about.

    Maybe she just wants to start a new thread,?

    The longer  the thread the less it gets looked at, all that scrolling etc,  

    i am sure she will explain soon enough.

    take care. X()X

  • Ellie, what is happenning, worried about you, I'd send you a PM but I'm on my phone and don't know how to  (pathetic I know). xxx

  • Morning spotty,so know what your going through,

    “Spotty tortoise said, It's a damned hard realisation that you've lived your life the wrong way, putting in such hard work for so long, to no avail.”

    And to finally know that is a really big thing to deal with it is hard and has no quick fixes,no real guides to what happens next?, but to then understand that not being heard is not really  the fault of all those around you,they were the very ones we worked so hard to fit with, including my OH who just wants me how I was but better,this is a cause for so much internal pain as I don’t think I can just go back to masking up to please.

    So I chose my path, it was not enforced upon me! 

    All I ask is a chance to be me a bit more me!, maybe my frustrations and moods for years of fitting in where I wasn’t comfortable will ease and allow her to see the real me.

    stay strong,we will find a way to co exhist. Work together and find a way forward.

    much love to all. X()x

  • Thanks Spotty Tortoise, I really appreciate the welcome I am finding here. Small steps!

  • I hate the dichotomy of male/female etc... if you identify, then that is good... open eyes always x

  • I glad you read the paper... x 

  • Thank you DengFeng 5, I wish I could say more but my parrot is not just resting, but may need resuscitating... sorry everyone... your love and care is much valued... but the old bird has fallen off her perch. 

  • The DongFeng5 - btw, would make a great band name!!

    In that case, I ought to start practicing the guitar again. I'd been pondering trying to write another song - as some sort of catharsis following realisation.

    You know, that video mashup wasn't mine, I just went looking for something humorous regarding a paper bag, and decided the video was just so wrong, it was great...

  • Having read the paper Ellie linked to at the beginning of this thread, I have to say I recognised quite a bit, so I am left wondering just how unique to females many of the items are?

    Perhaps it is true that females are more likely to be late-diagnosed, but perhaps it's also true that males who are late-diagnosed are equally likely to face many of the same challenges?

  • Glad you’re here Spotty... missed you... I miss you... and you are needed and valued here x 

  • Hi and welcome juteweaver, I'm in a similar boat, nearly 50 and awaiting diagnosis after my personality started crashing all around me. I haven't been here much lately and I think lots of us are having a hard time and hibernating at the moment.  

    It's a damned hard realisation that you've lived your life the wrong way, putting in such hard work for so long, to no avail.

    There is a lot to read here and the female contingent have contributed much since the summer (with much help from our friends). Hope you are finding some kindred spirits here, I wish I could live in here somehow, but I'm stuck wearing the mask pretty much in reality.

    Hugs to all who need them. ()()()()

  • Hi Elephantintheroom, just stopping by to say hello and read your thread on the recommendation of Martian Tom. I'm new to the forum, and like you am self-diagnosed and wondering what next. I'm 50 so you are way ahead of me on awareness! But my old self has been unravelling rapidly in recent years (after all that work I put into it too) and I need to rebuild but from an authentic place. Thanks for the link you shared - I find reading about others' experience helps me make sense of a lot of things I didn't really understand about myself.

  • Loving your work DongFeng5.... lol.... is that what really happens BTW if I get out of my soggy packaging!! -eek!  

    The DongFeng5 - btw, would make a great band name!! ...or maybe a criminal gang!! Thinking

    keep being YOU!

  • I think that's a false dichotomy. There's always https://imgur.com/Bddw3l9

    [Warning: Don't click the link if you are easily offended. Although it is parody, it is probably NSFW, due to violence/terror/death].

  • is the trick to find a corner and peel back, or just punch through., ?

  • Yeah, we seem to be hoarders! 

  • I seem to have accumulated more than one wet paper bag to fight out of! 

  • Yeah. I no that feeling.