Hi everyone. (Sorry to bring the mood down) Most of you know I posted another thread about a housing situation which I obviously doing really well with. Now I have a completely different situation and I need advice on how to cope. My mum died last night erm as you can obviously understand the family are in complete shock (as well as me) I've had some challenges before but this is the ultimate challenge. How do I deal with this?
I'm so sorry for your loss. Was it something that was expected? Even so, it's still a terrible shock.
I lost my own mother this year. It was expected, though she carried on for far longer than we all thought. Like you, it was my ultimate challenge. I couldn't imagine what my life would be like beyond it. Looking back, I still find it remarkable how resilient I've been. But grief is different for everyone, and it can strike us when we least expect it. So your experience might be quite different. Lots of things helped me. Finding signs - coincidences though they might have been - that she was still 'there' in some way. Keeping her things around me. Writing about her life. And talking to people - especially on here. Like I said, we all deal with it differently. But talking helps a great deal, I think. My local hospice runs a bereavement group, which I attended. That, too, helped tremendously.
How supportive are your family? Do you have close friends you can turn to?
Keep talking. And take good care of yourself. That's also important.
My thoughts are with you.
Not expected at all. Turned out she had a brain anmeyisum (forgive the spelling) she had no idea. She went to sleep basically and.......................that was it. She felt no pain. I have my dad my sisters to erm........................talk to. I'm holding it together for now but any point I know I could break. Just trying not to do it in view of people
It's a small consolation - but it's a consolation. She didn't suffer.
I didn't really have anyone I could talk to. My brother is my closest-remaining family member, but we don't really get on. He doesn't understand me at all.
I managed to hold it together in front of others. Even at the funeral, where I delivered a eulogy. But if you break down, there's no shame in it.
Just take it a stage at a time. Figure out what needs to be done and go forwards with it - but don't take on anything you don't feel capable of handling. For me, the best thing I felt I could do was to get all the affairs settled so that I could then take the time I needed to mourn. It seemed like a monumental task - but it got done. It was, I felt, my best way of remembering and honouring her. And it kept me focused.
Keep talking to us. We're all with you. xx