Christmas Day shout out!

Well...Christmas will soon is upon us...... I have a house full of people (5/6 Christmas Eve, Christmas Day...increasing to 8/9 Boxing Day and the 27th December).

I am dreading it as it will mean several days without any personal space, or quiet time or escape from NTs doing their thing. They will enjoy their traditions and I will be ASD serving wench making sure that everyone has a good time, but inside i will be struggling to cope.

This is a shout out...as I am going to need some help to get me through without a tantrum, shutdown or meltdown.

Is there anyone else about during the Christmas break who is planning to be online ......it would help a great deal to keep me on an even keel!

thank you

Ellie

Parents
  • I’ll keep checking in Elie. I’ll be with my family, and they are often all sat on their phones anyway. They probably won’t be on Christmas Day as that will break their rules, but hey, I’ve always been a rule breaker so why stop now ;) I wouldn’t want to disappoint them. 

    I’m finding that coming on here is really helping me so coming on here over the dreaded period will probably help me as well. 

    You've got an awful lot of folk to deal with and as they say at Asda or somewhere, every little helps :-) see you on Christmas Eve X

  • Thank you Blueray.....you anarchist!! Glad being here with us motley lot is helping.

    the guest list is not my choice....it is just my OH is a BIG xmas and family fan! - I am fighting the urge to do a runner and hide in someone's shed until the calm returns...

    let me know if you have a cupboard under your stairs that you dont mind subletting for a couple of days! - lol

    I'm a skinny bint, and fold well...  

  • Never mind the cupboard, I’ve got a house, a shed and a garden, take your pick :-) 

    I find that if I can get a bit of escapism in and I keep as quite as I can, I can kind of enjoy the day. I think it’s gonna be ok, and if we can get on here and keep ourselves on an even keel, we can appreciate that we at least have a warm house,  people and nice food, even if it’s not our world. 

    Being here is definitely helping. Like many have said, it can be a bit overwhelming sometimes but it is most definitely helping and I feel like I have a family. 

  • The first cigarette of the day..., and the last one....and one after Kissing smiling eyes

  • Drink has brought out the real me.  In vino veritas.  I've told people exactly what I think when my inhibitions have been suitably lowered.  I think it's making up for a lifetime of being treated like I'm some know-nothing, with nothing worthwhile to say.  Well... I can be extremely eloquent when I want to be!

    Granted, though, I have my regrets with it.  Strangely, though - the older I get, the more attenuated my regrets become.  I think I regretted more that these things made me look foolish.  But I don't really care about that now.  And sometimes I think about the things I said, and I smile and think 'Yeah!  That needed saying, and someone needed to say it.  And I said it!'

  • Bloomin' eck BlueRay.......so much there I can identify with...

    I'm an invisible presence also out there....my mum and sister have chosen not to associate with me for the last three years.....my OH's refrain...."what's wrong with you now!"....

    keep my mouth shut....maybe that is why the smoking and drinking came about...things to stick in my mouth to keep me quiet!! - lol

    ArrrrrrrrrrgH!

    lol

    x

  • me to,roll ups, used to be old holdbourne but now golden Virginia,all yellow, 

    you could roll me one when I am driving ha ha, 

    I was very young when I first smoked, everyone wanted to, all parents did, you could smoke anywhere, I love a fry up in a greasy joes with a *** on the go in the ashtray beside my plate,nice mug of strong tea to drink,,,,,oh bliss,xxx()()()xxx

  • I don’t drink as I fear it will bring the real me out, nothing bad about that,,,,,just that if I come outside I may never want to climb back into the box I have used as my hideaway.

    I deny myself a true life, unlike you blue ray who I know will do whatever it takes to have a life you want and deserve, I think you will be happy, I also think you may be inundated with offers from those who want a freedom, 

    I have smoked various things in my life long ago, and found it to be a strange but wonderful experience, I have no urge to do it again but if the smell alone can create euphoria in my mind, not this modern evil smelling stuff, the genetically modified brain cell destroyer, the old natural soft alternative to alcohol Lol.yeah man,,,,,,coooool,xxx()()()xxx

  • I smoke first as a coping mechanism when I was 18......I was living in a hostel for the homeless at the time..... ...and it still is rollups!

    such as classy Elephant!

  • Hi tom,you are invited and welcome, So four of us so far,four corners taken Lol. I like to think the corners would only be a start point until we start to relax and be our true selves, looks like for once I will be host! 

    Looking forward To ciggie time, a chance to actually smoke without fear of dropping ash or actually daring to breath smoke towards another being, I smoked first when if you didn’t you were considered weird!

    x()x

  • This sounds like the start of a joke! - how many ASPIEs can you fit into a shed!

    How many ASPIES in a shed do you need for people to start to think that we are being sociable!

  • This sounds like a thing, aspiesheds, they all have the same lock n key but only aspies get a key and whenever we need a change of environment, we just go to each other’s sheds! Sounds like we’ll always have a place to smoke and keep warm! 

  • Yeah, as a fellow smoker, I would also love to share some smoke time in that fine looking shed you have there. :-) 

  • Sounds perfect :-) 

  • only if you bring the single malt x...oooooh! and bring the nut roast!!! 

  • I can't guarantee staying on an even keel.  Depends on how the scotch is flowing... Japanese ogre

  • Yeah, you put into words exactly what I was thinking but didn’t know how to articulate. It’s especially hard with my sister, and we’re at her house.  We used to be really close but now she barely talks to me and she judges me without even asking how I am. When I told her a couple of days ago that I was suicidal, she just said I thought you were gonna be a millionaire and walked out the house, in her high heels, fancy clothes and top of the range car. I know she’s upset about my dad but it feels like there is always somebody else’s need greater than mine. She always tells me not to tell my mum and dad how I’m feeling, like I’m somehow being the most selfish *** in the world for daring to even mention it. The reason why I said I’ll be as quite as I can is because she will shut me up and be annoyed and even ask me to leave if I start talking about a special inteterest or god forbid if I mention the word autism. I guess I’ll be doing what I’ve learned to do over the last few years, which is keep quite, forget about my needs, put everyone else’s needs first and make the most of it. X

  • you could design your own AUTIshed...sound proofed walls and an catflap upgrade, if needed.

    This Christmas I will be mostly.........."antisocial" - lol

  • Room for a small one?  I'll sit in the corner quietly...

  • I want one of those for Christmas!  I suppose it would take a lot of wrapping paper - and a bit of a struggle with the chimney for Santa!  Need to be a flat pack...

  • thank you BlueRay... that is very sweet and very generous, and also very very very tempting! - This black sheep would be tainted even further if i dared to duck and run!!! - nice food is one thing...but the company this year for me just highlights even more my own bubble of isolation and their lack of care to even ask how I am....let alone....who I am! xx

  • Hey as a fellow smoker....(coping, self soothing mechanism) and a drinker (coping, brain switching off liquid, anxiety squasher mechanism)..and enjoying "family" here (existential crisis avoidance mechanism) I may well pop around and fill your shed with smoke and cigarette ends!

    thank you!

Reply Children
  • As it's a virtual hanging out in the shed, the smoke isn't an issue, so no need for gas masks, unless you have a thing for them, in which case, are you on the wrong forum?! haha

  • Heeellloooo - anyone in the shed? I've put a bin of ice with beers and wine outside. 

    I'm in the garden getting some air, blowing some blow bubbles 

    I've brought a brazier with logs and some giant sparklers if anyone has got a light for them and wants one.  I've got a powder sachet that makes the fire flames different colours. 

  • definitely, because when I used to share, just about 100% of the room knew what I was saying and could identify and visa versa. 

  • Absolutely!  I've always argued that.  You only have to hear what people say.  It all makes sense.

  • yeah, definitely rings a bell. I was in AA for 7 years and a couple of my friends (one definitely on the spectrum) said AA is riddled with undiagnosed autistics. 

  • I understand you Lonewarrior, in fact, I just did some journaling and wrote that I’m scared to make ‘progress’ in case I end up with another lonely soulless life, but then I remind myself, that I don’t have to lower my expectations, I just have to adapt to the changing scenery. My life is just not going to look like I thought it would but if I can serve our community and in doing so make this world a better place, then I think  I can be happy, if I design my life right. 

    My mum has settled for what you are talking about and in all honestly, I look at her sometimes (not literally) and realise that in many ways her life is much easier than mine and as a consequence she is more at peace than me. And she is loved very much and even if she can’t feel that love, like an nt maybe would, it seems to be enough for her and I truly respect and admire her for that. 

    My diagnosis is all new to me and it is my suppprt worker who has made me realise that I need to come to terms with it and accept it. I thought I had, but I hadn’t, not really. But since she mentioned it, I am beginning to come to terms with it. 

    When I think about acceptance, I feel sad, but I’ve realised, the sadness is for the life I thought I had. Which wasn’t a life at all. I was simply doing my best to survive in a world I felt I didn’t belong. 

    I think all of our lives would look different, if we managed to get all of our needs met and find happiness. And I’m slowly starting to look at, what my ideal life would look like now, as an aspie. It’s early days but I truly believe we can create lives for ourselves that work for us. 

    I wont give up on myself and that means I won’t give up on any of us. I’m going to keep working away at this and even if the changes don’t appear in my lifetime, I will do what I can to make it easier for those who come later. 

    Oh, and the natural soft alternative would be a blessing. Then we could really have a party :-) 

  • In what context?  That's my argument entirely!

  • came across this the other day.....x...rang a bell!

  • Drink has brought out the real me.  In vino veritas.  I've told people exactly what I think when my inhibitions have been suitably lowered.  I think it's making up for a lifetime of being treated like I'm some know-nothing, with nothing worthwhile to say.  Well... I can be extremely eloquent when I want to be!

    Granted, though, I have my regrets with it.  Strangely, though - the older I get, the more attenuated my regrets become.  I think I regretted more that these things made me look foolish.  But I don't really care about that now.  And sometimes I think about the things I said, and I smile and think 'Yeah!  That needed saying, and someone needed to say it.  And I said it!'

  • I don’t drink as I fear it will bring the real me out, nothing bad about that,,,,,just that if I come outside I may never want to climb back into the box I have used as my hideaway.

    I deny myself a true life, unlike you blue ray who I know will do whatever it takes to have a life you want and deserve, I think you will be happy, I also think you may be inundated with offers from those who want a freedom, 

    I have smoked various things in my life long ago, and found it to be a strange but wonderful experience, I have no urge to do it again but if the smell alone can create euphoria in my mind, not this modern evil smelling stuff, the genetically modified brain cell destroyer, the old natural soft alternative to alcohol Lol.yeah man,,,,,,coooool,xxx()()()xxx

  • This sounds like a thing, aspiesheds, they all have the same lock n key but only aspies get a key and whenever we need a change of environment, we just go to each other’s sheds! Sounds like we’ll always have a place to smoke and keep warm! 

  • Sounds perfect :-) 

  • you could design your own AUTIshed...sound proofed walls and an catflap upgrade, if needed.

    This Christmas I will be mostly.........."antisocial" - lol

  • I want one of those for Christmas!  I suppose it would take a lot of wrapping paper - and a bit of a struggle with the chimney for Santa!  Need to be a flat pack...