Struggling through life

Hi, I’m new to the forum. 

I’ve always been different from the crowd and have suffered from depression all my life. I’m 41 and work in a fairly demanding job, but I struggle socially and I struggle with dealing with life. 

I recently watched Chris Packham talking about his autism, and although I’ve thought I may have aspergers for a while, some of the things he spoke about hit a chord with me. I’m very ritualistic when I do things regularly. I choose to have no friends as I find people so demanding. I find work absolutely drains me of energy. I don’t go out socialising. I crave time alone and spend a lot of time alone. People, mainly my family, don’t understand how I see the world... the list goes on. 

For the record, I don’t have a boyfriend, have never even been engaged and I don’t have children, so it’s safe to say I’m a fairly unsuccessful human being. 

I went to my doctor a couple of weeks ago to ask about getting a diagnosis and he told me the NHS will only diagnose people up to the age of 19, so I’m well out of that age range. 

Can anyone give me any advice of direction as to what I might be able to do next? I need to find a reason for my weirdness (I went to an art university and was weird even by their standards)

thanks in advance... 

Parents
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  • I recently watched Chris Packham talking about his autism, and although I’ve thought I may have aspergers for a while, some of the things he spoke about hit a chord with me. I’m very ritualistic when I do things regularly. I choose to have no friends as I find people so demanding. I find work absolutely drains me of energy. I don’t go out socialising. I crave time alone and spend a lot of time alone. People, mainly my family, don’t understand how I see the world... the list goes on. 

    For the record, I don’t have a boyfriend, have never even been engaged and I don’t have children, so it’s safe to say I’m a fairly unsuccessful human being. 

    I went to my doctor a couple of weeks ago to ask about getting a diagnosis and he told me the NHS will only diagnose people up to the age of 19, so I’m well out of that age range. 

    It seems that you have picked up on some relateable traits from watching the documentary and I think most of us have had similar breakthrough moments where we put two and two together.

    With regards to not having a boyfriend, being engaged or having children - that does not mean you are a failure!  Society merely states these quite outdated and sexist demands on women to try and maintain some sort of natural order, but it's all nonsense.  I am not engaged and don't have children and don't intend to for that matter.  You are fine as you are in relation to this and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

    With regards to the diagnosis, I can't say for sure, but from what I have read, it seems to be a bit of a postcode lottery.  I had been suffering with long-term problems that no one could put their finger on what was causing it or how to deal with it.  I suggested autism as a possibility to my GP and listed the symptoms and similarities.  We did an initial test which I scored highly on, so she referred me to a psychiatrist for a formal diagnosis to try and get to the root cause of the long-term problems to hope that this would shed some light on things.  I think GPs are reluctant unless they feel that a diagnosis will bring some value - I don't agree with this.  If you think a diagnosis, whatever the outcome, will help you come to terms with some things then it might be worth pursuing it, but as I found out, it doesn't solve any long-term problems if you have any as a result.  Getting answers from medical professionals and getting the right support, if it is needed, is very hard work.

Children
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