An informal thread for all misfired and miswired women on the spectrum...,(and guests). A new thread as we can chat away but are not so good tidying up after ourselves....too busy being awesome..,,
This is a new iteration of many long and warm and welcoming contributions. This is a happy and supportive place x
Thank you Ellie. Very pleased to have a new but continued place to meet up x
Hello all, glad to find this new thread. I haven't been on here for a few days as I'm busy just now doing that middle-aged lady thing of looking after elderly parents in a crisis. Bit freaked out having to deal with carers, nurses, doctors, medics, social workers etc. but heigh ho...doing my best to give an award-winning performance of nice, capable, patient daughter!!! Glad I have my hubby to support me. And pleased to find you all here.
Good to see you here as well. though early forties I haven't yet hit the role of being carer to parents (it helps that I am the black sheep of the family).....due to ASPIE misunderstood self....but I do act as carer to my son and my more than capable (just lazy - lol) husband...and hold a full time middle management job.
Certainly not as stressful as your present situation but I can identify with the "award winning performance"....lets just hope that they don't expect an encore and an added matinee show! - it is exhausting!
I too have elderly parent duties (both my parents and my husband's parent and partner). Fortunately there are several family members involved so we can share duties. It would be difficult otherwise as they're in different areas too.
It is astounding how many different people you have to speak to about different things. I genuinely don't know how someone would be able to do it who had no family to help them. It seems so odd to have such a disjointed system for people who really really need everything to be simple.
I have noticed too that the quality differs a lot between two different local authority areas. In one area I've had to end up in arguments over ridiculous things because I was suggesting to do things that didn't follow the written down process (basically skip some of the process because we weren't asking for help in that area anyway, but no, apparently they needed us to go through all of the paperwork just in case anything changed. Apparently me telling them at a later stage if things had changed wasn't the right process, grrrr). I hate confrontation but I got so frustrated. So I steeled myself to have to do it with the staff in another local authority area, but they understood straight away, agreed straight away and it was so simple.
I've had all the paperwork tasks. So don't get me started on the benefits system!!!! There must be so many people who aren't claiming what they are entitled to because they either don't know about it or they were overwhelmed by the application process and decided not to bother. I'm in the process now of the application for a council tax reduction which I only know about because we did it for one household after someone happened to mention it to us.
It all takes a surprising amount of time to sort out and it can be really tiring too. When I visit I go for 2-3 days at a time so that I can do as much as I can there. But I always come away exhausted, then it's onto the next household. Then as you say you are trying to 'perform' too. I hope you are able to factor in some time-outs for yourself so that you can recharge.
HI Katfish, I can only concur with you about the frustration and tiredness. My dad died a week ago, so I haven't been on here for a while. I'm just glad we were able to look after him at home. Just now I am overwhelmingly, shatteringly tired. But I'm well supported by my husband and the family are all pulling together, which is lovely. You look after yourself, it's hard work. Best wishes.
Big love to you Fuchsia x
I'm sorry to hear that. I'm not surprised you are shattered. Glad to hear that your family are supportive.