Fed up

i'm a 29 yr old man with aspergers syndrome I haven't worked for 5 years I live alone have no friends and don't know how to get out of this rut I'm in I'm fed up with ritualistic/repetitive behaviours I see my whole life passing by In front of me I just want it all to go away I just want a normal life I literally do the same thing everyday, wander into town have breakfast come home play games watch t.v this isn't the life I wanted I should have a job a family ect I ******* hate the world

*Edited by Moderator

  • The link I didn’t post! Has been added,

    I sometimes get things wrong,apologies,

    As I said I don’t know if it is good or bad? But it shows there are options and these opportunities do exhist.

    Thank you ellie for pointing out my mistake!

    http://www.thepoosh.org/

    just to add for clarity! I have now posted this link in the original post, normally as soon as you get a reply to a post you can no longer edit that post!

    hence this being added, ah well?

    I am tired and  my head is full of mist tonight, surprised I remember how to add links!

  • Hi, I think I responded to this last night but probably didn't push send because I was rather tired. Either that or am going mad. I kind of refer to option two by default. 

    Anyway. I joined this forum a couple of years back. But got sidetracked with lots of stuff post my autism diagnosis. But in a way my journey to getting diagnosed as an adult maybe of some help to the original poster that started this thread. 

    You see prior to my diagnosis. I was very much like him. Fed up. Had pretty much given up on going anywhere and socialize and was in a huge slump. I was also having a pretty major case of anxiety and other things that relate to that. 

    Long story short. My sister suggested I try a talking therapy called CBT. So I got a referral from my GP and talked everything out. Turns out I was pretty depressed but also felt that I didn't have a purpose. Even though I'd been running a pretty nice website and had done interviews with all sorts of famous US TV stars from the world of science fiction and fantasy. I was feeling bad within myself and rather anxious about the state of things in general. 

    The CBT Therapist I got was really, really good. She figured out what my interests were and pretty much identified that I was a creative and signposted a few places where I could go and do classes and whatnot as a starting point. To basically get me out the house and doing stuff. I was basically shut in. 

    I also talked with her a bit about how autism was talked about with regards to me when I was a kid but said I was unsure of whether I actually had an official diagnosis. So she did the AQ test with me and I scored 38. From there she got my doctor to refer me to the Mental Health diagnostic team in my area and my life is now so much better than it was. 

    I help out at a local art centre as a volunteer helping people learn guitar and I am also working a little bit now.  

    So my advice to the original poster is don't give up. You have to make the change, which I know is a big step for people like us. But it can be done. It just a matter of trying different things and finding out what works for you. I started by just going to one thing and gradually built things up. It's not a race. You can go at your own pace and you don't have to stick with stuff if you don't think its working for you. You are the one in control. 

  • Yes, there are many truly wonderful opportunities out there, including places in Hawaii!!! You have to do a bit of research as there are some dodgy deals out there but there are certainly many rewarding opportunities, in all corners of the world. I have considered many of them myself but I've got my path now but yeah, there are so many great opportunities out there.

  • Are you going to post the link? Eyes 

  • I am posting this link for NAS35296 as an idea of what is available out there, you spoke of travelling the world!

    I do not know anything about this resource but it has a map of possible locations for volunteering your help and hard work, the satisfaction of doing good and being rewarded both by being fed and sheltered and to give a peace of mind is maybe what you need, a real reason to exhist,travel and have a reason to keep going and a history of achieving.

    xxx()()()xxx

    http://www.thepoosh.org/

  • Than you BlueRay. For the offer I will gladly turn up.even if it just to give advice and lend a hand, My idea of a holiday!

    I am sure my OH would enjoy the countryside and the nature and freedom to wander.

    You are approaching this in the right way, there are always pitfalls, they can be overcome by seeking knowledge and working the system, you are obviously the right person to do that, 

    I hate injustice of all kinds, I will fight for anyone who is in need, it is one of my faults actually as I have had my trust and free giving nature used by some. Nothing serious but used never the less.

    keep your mind open.meet the ones that have taken the journey. 

    Learn as much as you can,

    I look forward to having a message one day inviting me to come see your newly acquired land!

    xxx()()()xxx

  • Oh yes, this is what I love, self sustainable living, permaculture, earth ships etc, solar energy, the lot, there is so much that can be done and with a community, it can be done much quicker and easier. The group in Devon who got the council to let them live off the land are doing great and I realised that this is the only way I can actually live, although my ideas differ slightly from the Devon group. They live off the land but I intend to earn an income as well because I want to continue travelling, which takes a certain amount of money. Even if your partner didn't come round to the idea, you will always have a home there, you can come and get your hands dirty any time. It's like no matter how desperate I get, I can't let go of this dream and something always shows me that I am in fact making progress. So many of us are intelligent, gifted, talented, loving, kind and thoughtful people and we are being eaten up by the NT world and I can't let that happen. I'm not fighting against them, how can they know what we need unless we tell them, but I am fighting for our right to a fulfilling and purposeful life, whatever that may look like for each of us. When I worked as a social worker, I always got what my clients needed because I would quote the law in my assessments, so they couldn't deny me. They used the law to stop people from getting what they needed so I played them at their own game and I was successful but now I've got an even bigger fight and I won't give in. I can't stand by and let beautiful people suffer when I know we can do something about it so this is my life now and it might not always be easy but I won't give in. It's a slow process but it's happening. Thank you for your encouragement and support, it is much much appreciated. XXXXX

  • Well said BlueRay kind and factual words.

    xxx()()()xxx

  • Totally Lonewarrior. I think that whatever we write on here, it's for all of us and @NAS35296, I have been thinking of you, especially when I'm feeling all exhausted and desperate, not to say that you are, but to say, hey, I really know how you feel and no matter how much we want out of this, sometimes it feels impossible, but those times pass if we allow them and allow ourselves to think differently. To think outside of the NT box and think about what we actually want. When we get a picture or an idea of how we would like our life to be, not from an nt perspective, but from our own perspective, then we CAN achieve it. For example, whether I like it or not, I just can't be around people too much, so I am creating a life where my contact with other people is only (or largely) with the people I want it to be with and for how long etc. Start with you and think about what you want and what would make an ideal world for you and you honestly CAN achieve it.

  • So glad you are fighting to get what you want, I have still yet to convince my NT partner of the ideology.

    It is something I always wanted in my life, I have many skills and knowledge regarding construction and tool use, I have always worked with my hands,

    I dug the footings for a large cob house now completed, it didn’t need any but the local council planning office weren’t sure so insisted it had concrete ones just in case?

    I also dug down into subsoil and mixed a lot of the cob with an excavator, all was applied by hand, lovely thatched roof, thick walls, I still see the owner who started a small holding before the cob house, we often talk of wind energy and water power, lakes for fish, grants for tree planting, which can provide fire wood and be negative carbon neutral, you give back more oxygen and reduce co2 with saplings more than the burning gives off of CO2.

    please keep me posted as even if I don’t get to be in my autopia I can smile as I see those of you with conviction succeed.

    xxx()()()xxx.

    All would be welcome to my place if it ever became reality.

  • It's my new obsession so I follow lots of people on youtube who are either vandwellers or live in tiny homes and I'm learning loads of stuff. If I ever get an idea, I usually just go for it but this time it's different. Due to my inability to do very little at all just now, I am actually learning a lot of valuable stuff and getting some great ideas for my van and tiny home. As it has been said in other posts, I just need to keep being ok with where I'm at just now and continue to allow this to unfold because when I do, I see the great insights etc that I'm getting. I love the welsh tiny homes, some good ideas.

  • Hi NAS35296! Just wanted to say we are taking over your thread somewhat, but I hope it allows you to see there are possibilities to having something to do rather than just work, volunteer to help others, help build if you can,many people feed and house volunteers in payment for work.

    I hope you get some inspiration from all of our dreams and aspirations, x()x

  • I will definitely keep you informed and I agree, we would all know how we can contribute and even if the contribution was nil at times, we would all understand and do what we can to help each other. It's going to happen, because it can't not, I see my only alternative as a mediocre life that I can just about manage, and that's not good enough. They say it takes single pointed determination to succeed in life, and I have definitely got that and more. I've got 5 years worth of in depth study on how to achieve success and although life is very slow just now, what I am learning is mindblowing, and is building me a very strong foundation on which to build my dream. It is happening. X

  • Yours will blow away in the welsh winds,,,,said mr wolf, 

    mine however will stand the test of time, a cob house it is all hand built, I even have experience of helping to build one, here is a link to a random one I found whilst googling, nothing to do with me but has a lovely story and a beautiful house.

    enjoy, maybe NAS35296 could volunteer depending where you are from, the one I got involved in had many volunteers working to find out how and to get practical experience, They are popping up all over the uk.

    Nice and Cosy with next to no maintenance.

    x()x

    michael-buck.blogspot.co.uk/

  • Been googling ideas already! Flag captured! 

    http://www.thewelshdencompany.co.uk

  • Wow I missed your reply,,,,sounds amazing, I wish you all the success in the world, I have always believed that a colony with only people on the spectrum could work, it would take time to brush away the damage caused by trying to adapt into a life we don’t belong. NT ways.

    Without the stigma or worries to adapt we would all know how we can contribute. There would be an understanding of each other’s difficulties and a shared desire to help and nurture.

    Keep me informed on your journey please,,,,oh and don’t tell that Ellie Lol. Knowing my luck she will have built her place before I even get to find where it is!(joke)

    I enjoy your style, you are strong, you are determined, much respect.

    Xxx()()()xxx 

  • Hahahahaha I love it ~ you totally crack me up! Hang on a minute - ooops, overtook you ;-) not really, we can all live there, form our own colony! Actually, this is part of my long term plan. First I get my van set up and after a while of living and working on the road, I’m going to get a piece of land, a big piece, and all us fringe dwellers can live a perfect life there. I’ve akready got several people interested and a couple of them already have the financial means to purchase land, although that’s not a problem, I know I’ll get the land and I don’t want anybody paying to live on it. We can all build our tiny homes on there, share the gardening etc and all live as we want to with as much or as little interaction with each other as we want. This is definitely going to happen. I just realised I need some time on the road first and that will give me a good opportunity to save some money and also check out different parts of the uk where I’d like to set up home. There’s a bunch of folks in the south of england who got the council to let them live on some land and they’re having a great time. They did an open day earlier this year but I found out about it just before the day and didn’t have time to sort it out to get down there. The tiny home movement is growing, even over here in the UK and for me, I have finally realised, it’s the only way for me to live. 

  • Hahaha that’s me to a tea! Everyone was telling me about Hannah Huxley, who lived on a farm in the Dales by herself, because they said she reminded them of me! Let’s just take over all the woods and forests. The NT’s can have the cities and we can dwell happily in our woods :-D sorted :-) 

  • Sorry....didn’t catch what you said.....byeeeeeeeeeeeee!