This week I left what I believe to be a great company as I've worked for them for seventeen years full time and twenty-three years part-time. I left 'mutually' but have left good staff behind with an antagonist working amongst them and other issues which aren't the company but people related.
I'm having an extremely bad day emotionally and haven't left my duvet. Whilst looking at my four walls of my bedroom I'm thinking of those I have left behind but also what I can do to help others. My hands are tied due to me leaving 'mutually' but there must be loopholes so I can help mainly other people. I believe in helping others and have real difficulty in looking after myself and in a way helping others does help me if that makes sense.
40 years in a job and place of work is getting to be very rare.. it will be a huge change for you and we don’t “do” change easily. Give yourself time to adjust and just keep taking one day at a time. There are plenty of opportunities to help others in lots of different ways so be patient with yourself. Sorry you’ve had such a tough day. Sometimes a duvet day or two is very necessary and hope you feel less awful tomorrow.
Thanks, not only change but change that didn't need to happen if people were honest. I believe in honesty and now I am unemployed with no job on the horizon. My hands are tied but I want those that don't know the truth at Director and board level to know so others won't be disadvantaged. I managed to get some help with one colleague I use to work with as they are a vulnerable adult but there are others not so lucky. Also, my manager told me about an antagonist he was aware of but didn't do anything to sort the problem out and instead tried to help but just not going far enough. As a member of the team said my manager could talk the talk but not the walk. The company I worked for has nearly 150 centres and the industry is a close one.
I contemplated suicide last week because of the stress of making the decision and told my Union rep and advocate but what I don't know even though I asked for it to happen was for my HR to be told of my distress.
I have been in a job where I felt unsupported and management not doing things fairly across the board. I ended up being very ill. I should have involved the union but unable to by then . I resigned which made me lose out and it took a long time to get better. At the moment you will most likely be stressed, tired and running on emotions. If you really think you can help others then good luck but otherwise try hard to walk away with dignity give yourself time to get some balance back and then decide what to do.
Hi addlestones, I didn't comment on any of this so far, it was too close to the heart, but I think you did completely the right thing. They had decided to kick you out and they would have done so, no matter what. It would only have become more nasty if you had stayed and if nobody has helped you so far then nobody would be doing it in future either. It may not look like a good thing now, it could potentially cause real financial problems, but god knows where you would end up if you had stayed.
Anyway, my advice regarding helping colleagues is: Don't even try. I know you don't want to hear that, it goes totally against everything you believe in to let them continue the way they have treated you and others, you find fairness incredibly important, and honesty. Maybe I'm playing devil's advocate there, but people don't want to know the truth if it's uncomfortable, they probably want others to be treated fairly but if you are treated badly, well, then there must be a reason for it, so it is fair after all. Your former colleagues are not going to appreciate your help until they are in the same desperate situation, and then it's too late. HR don't want to hear that someone at higher level isn't doing their job properly, because it is a lot easier to get rid of that person's "problems" (that is people like you) instead of even just suggesting to that person that something will have to change. Trying to point out things that aren't working well and making suggestions how to improve them is not what you are supposed to do, it is seen as complaining. You should smile and nod and then gossip and rant a lot to people who can do nothing about it, and watch others fail and tell them how really sorry you are and then forget them the moment they leave...
Sorry, I don't want to hurt you (it's hurting myself just as much) but somehow we have to learn from the things that have happened. We are way too slow learning anyway, others may have tried once to suggest a change, then they figured out it wasn't welcome, so they stopped, while we keep insisting in our (objectively seen good) ideals... If you try to help them all you will achieve is keeping your wound widely open. There will be enough triggers waiting for you that rip it open again and again anyway.
Sending you a big hug, perhaps it makes us both feel a little better.
Hi Misfit, don't think the union would have helped you. I don't know anybody who had these sort of problems where the union would have helped to keep the job. At most they may have some nice words for you, maybe some advice how to leave, that's it. Employers don't care much about what they say when it comes to this. Unions are good for pay negotiations and that sort of thing (ah, and you get discounts on car insurance and Alton Towers tickets, which is particularly useful if you haven't go a car and can't stand leisure parks), but when there are problems with working relationships they are completely useless (despite everything they may say and perhaps genuinely believe).