What led you seek diagnosis?
I saw a TV documentary which featured a woman with aspergers who does talks about it and realised I was very much like her. Immediately looked on the internet and found the AQ test and was shocked at the result, but later found the Tania Marshall website and like you other ladies on here was going yes, yes, yes, that's me, but Isn't that how most women are? Now I know it's not, but I like being "different". Like Chris Packham, it makes me good at what I do. I like being me and wouldn't want to be NT.
Cannot believe I haven’t given my story.
Ah well here I go! It’s very long,,,,better get comfortable,,,,(the journey hasn’t ended yet)
Was sat reading Facebook when I saw a poster thing from scope the charity, it was about a lady she was diagnosed at fourty plus years old,her son had been already diagnosed, I was used to seeing many posters about ASD,autism,dyslexia and such as my eldest daughter is studying to teach with special needs children,she posts them to give more awareness.
I sat and read the ladies story.
Each sentence matched my life.every single thing, I could not believe how accurately it matched my experiences and thoughts,
I ended up crying and then angry, I was a mess, I suddenly realised my whole way of life had a reality to it. I wasn’t on my own. My never fitting in. The seeing the world as if I wasn’t there,behind a glass screen. Wondering why everyone did what they did.feeling like I was from another planet?
her name is [edited by moderator], she now volunteers on the scope web forum, I immediately went to the scope site and joined, I found it interesting but had little information.
so in true ASD style I researched it thoroughly. I came here and learnt so very much from the members. I was sure I was high functioning autistic, but things didn’t quite add up. Most but not all?
I had researched Aspergers but discounted it as I am very emotional and often cry or feel sad. I have huge empathy and feel others pain. I help my worst enemy even. I bear no grudges ever.
One day I did the aspie quiz! It hit me hard, I scored 187/200.ND .
I did the short AQ test and scored 10/10, then the full AQ test got 41/50,
my EQ came out as poor.
I had a massive down turn,people on here pulled me up and saved my sanity,
I carried on desperately searching for answers, my life was indeed as aspie Male, but,,,,big but, the emotional side didn’t add up.
I then realise a friend on here had already hinted to me by giving me a link to aspie women? I had read it but didn’t see the link to me, upon re reading it apparently there is now a theory that the brain can be male or female in emotional state,
Sounds strange and it is, it took me a long time to think it through, it’s not about gender likes or dislikes but a way of feeling emotionally.
my friend said I had been trying to fit a wrong pattern, they also knew I was probably Aspergers but let me find it out myself.
I still find certain traits that I didn’t think were specific to ASD which fit my life. Tick tick the boxes keep getting ticked.
So on the 03/02/2017 @ 19:00 hrs I had my epiphany reading on face book.
I am researching the facts of all this now, I am assembling things for my visit to the GP. I am looking for a formal diagnosis. I know the reality at my age is slim, but if you don’t ask you don’t get.
I need the reason and justification for my life. I have shared many common issues as you all have, I now believe it will allow me to be me.The being I have shut away for most of my life, It saddens me to think I have followed the perceived guidelines just to fit and exhist. I want to be me,
thank you for reading, I am known for long rambles Lol.
I also believe from an early age I have dyslexia, always thought that was my problem,it covered many things but not enough,I still know I have dyslexia.hardly a day goes by when I find new research for dyslexia which ticks yet another box,or gives me a clearer understanding of who I am.
[Edited by Ayshe Mod]
Lonewarrior said:It saddens me to think I have followed the perceived guidelines just to fit and exhist. I want to be me,
I can identify with that...
Thank you ellie,yes just to exhist as me would be nice,
After all I am not all that bad.
Maybe you have always been you....but now you just know how to address yourself.....
not all that bad?.......mmmmmm.....I hope not....!...but you might have got a few NTs worried!