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Just Diagnosed

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Hi, my 4 year old son has just been diagnosed today with Autism and ADHD. I feel so sad, I know it could be so much worse, but I know very little about the condition and I just worry so much for his future. This website looks amazing and I hope it'll help put my mind at rest, just such a lot to get my head around x

Just diagnosed

Our little boy was diagnosed 15 months ago when he was 3, he's now 4 years odl. I remember being sat in the car after his assesment with all the professionals after the diagnosis and crying my eyes out in disbelief. We have in a strange way been grieving for the little boy that we will not have and spent a long time being angry with the world. But now the dust has settled we set about learning about the condition so we could get to love and understand our son even more.Even though he is very non verbal and lives in his own world most of the time, he is happy. A sort of blissful ignorance. You have to arm yourself with knowledge of the condition so you can become the very best advocate for your son because most of the general public are ignorant to medical conditions that they can not physically see. Knowledge also provides you as a parent with the ammunition to fight for the best for your son in what will be a long journey. We love our son so much, his sister who is only 5 struggles to understand why her brother doesn't talk or play with her, but we tell her that we are a family and a team and now we just try to get most joy out of life as we can. Just because you've been dealt a bad hand it doesn't mean we can't play the game.

Thank you so much, it's so lovely to hear from someone who truly understands. When I rang to tell our family and friends last night, everyone just kept saying "oh well, now we know whats wrong we can get on and deal with it," or, "well it could have been a lot worse!!" I didn't know how to say that I felt the same as you that I feel like I'm grieving. Thank you again for your lovely message, I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that we will learn how to help our Son have as normal a life as he can xx


hey,welcome to the forums.

 im current 18 yeards old, and i have aspergers. if i could add a positive spin to the diagnosis, you got it very early, which is always best. i myself was 17 when we got the formal diagnosis, but my parents had taken me to various child physcologists and similar people and while it was agreed that there might be a form of autism, it wasnt taken any further until i started at college, aged 16. this put me through all of primary and secondary school with (to me)unexplained social difficulties and all kinds of problems from peers and teachers that didnt understand how i worked. your lad is very fortunate in getting his diagnosis earlier, since support will fair more readily avalible if it turns out to be nessesary. 

 of course everyone on the sectrum works differently, but i know that on this site theres alot of support and good advice from everyone, and theres always someone that understands any problems.

I agree with the last comment that the diagnosis should be seen as a positive thing. i am 36 and was only diagnosed a few years ago so i went through school and my teenage years wondering why i was different and did not understand why I found social situations difficult. I have 5 children, 4 of whom have Autism/Aspergers. It only became noticed when my 4th son started displaying autistic tendancies and my health visitor suggested he be seen for an assessment. My son was 3 and it took 2 years for him to be diagnosed with Aspergers. After that I felt devastated so began reading everything i could get my hands on to learn more! After this my eldest son who was 16 at the time was told by college that he probably had autism but nobody had picked up on it! During his teenage years he had a really hard time at school and tried to kill himself, and was diagnosed with depression. My 3rd son has Dyspraxia and my daughter is now being assessed for Autism/sendory perseption disorder. With a diagnosis, help is freely accessed and available but without a diagnosis, people do not understand and there is no help at all. Please see the diagnosis as a positive as your son will be understood and allowances made for him at school and indeed throughout his life. )

Hello, this is my first time posting, so big, big apologies if I didn't quite put this in the right place.

My son (4 years old) has just been diagnosed too. I suspected he had something on the spectrum for a while, so when the diagnosis became official I initially felt  ~relief~.  My son is high functioning, he's articulate, highly susceptible to sensory overload and can be very violent in those circumstances.  I was relieved because I did not want him beginning school and being written off as the 'naughty kid'.  


It's been two weeks since and I keep bursting into tears.  I am very ashamed of this and my partner is horrified about it, I think.  I don't know why I feel like this so suddenly.  Sleep has never been easy as my son is very active and wakes up a lot and also wets the bed.  I get little sleep, but was okay with this and now I seem to be ill a lot, I feel exhausted and overwhelmed.  Right when everyone needs me!  

Has anyone else gone through this too?  Any tips on becoming a little less flaky?  I feel confident that my lovely little lad will be able to overcome and better control some of his most frustrating feelings, we are very fortunate, he converses well and benefits noticeably from many of the exercises.  We are all blessed with a lot of love. I just really need to stop feeling so sick and sad!!

Good luck to you all. x

Hi Albertina,

I felt exactly the same When my son was diagnosed. I think it's your body's way of dealing with what has been a difficult and stressful time waiting and wondering if it is or isn't Autism. up until my son was diagnosed I was constantly thinking is it or isn't it, then when the Dr said yes it's Aspergers, I was initially relieved but then felt down, cried a lot and wanted to sleep. I felt as though it was the end of something and began to feel sorry for my son and felt I didn't know what to do next! I sought out advice from the local Autism group where I still go 4 years on, I read articles and books on how to make things easier, I attended courses through the NAS and I found talking to other parents made me feel not so alone. There are groups on Facebook too and if you live in Suffolk there is a huge support network. I hope this helps. Your feelings won't last forever it's just your body's way of letting all your emotions out. Take care of yourself and feel free to email. )